Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
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Top comments
Onyxdragon 9
That's a new one, you get a gold sticker.
llamarrama01 21
People who do things like that can go....**** themselves
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Comments (134)
joscoy 13
You should just get a boy friend
lina21 12
Stealing candy from a baby has turned into stealing batteries from kids' toys. Go to the grocery store or a gas station and buy some
dave20012 15
That is just sad for sure Like an earlier comment you sacrifice a child's happiness of play time for your own "play time" When you could have taken batteries from your tv remote or even bought from a dollar store.
just16letters 15
Was it like taking candy from a baby?
vikky538 29
you just ruined the day ...
PunkSenpai 9
This is the best FML I have seen in a while :3
rushalm 7
A horny thief-employee! What else does an employer need? :P
MeanBeagle 22
I'm not a proffesional at vibrators. but don't batteries go in the device?
MzZombicidal 36
What? How did you not understand the post? OP said "I stole batteries from the daycare I work at, and put them *IN* my vibrator"
UnxForgiven 5
You're putting off bad vibes.
allplayedout 20
Are you just that broke or do you inexplicably not know where to buy rechargeable batteries?