Today, I work for the police as a computer analyst. My dad, who thinks it’s only a real job if you come home covered in grease every day, still tells his friends my job is to sit in a dark room wanking on the internet all day. And he wonders why we barely speak anymore.. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a family birthday, and was excitingly telling my aunt about my new career in IT Security and Data Management. Her response was, "So you just look into a screen all day?" FML
Today, my dad went on a rant about how police are scum, timewasters, corrupt arseholes, and a waste of taxpayer money. I’m a police officer, and I’d had to pull him over because he was swerving all over the road while getting road head from a woman who was not my mother, to whom he is still married to. FML
Today, I realized that my work life is far less stressful than my home life. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I found out my dad tells everyone I’m still living in his house farting around on the internet. I’m a software engineer and I invest in the stock markets. I live in his house because I bought it off him when he fell behind on his own mortgage. I’ve been earning more than him since I was 22. FML
Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML
Today, after I used to look down on my brother for being a nerd, he now creates computer software for a living making megabucks. Meanwhile, I deliver lorry loads of gravel and cement to building sites for minimum wage, one step above breaking rocks for a living. FML
Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML
Today, I was at work with my dad. He told me the only reason he's letting me work with him over the summer is because I'm a friendless loser, and he didn't want me staying home getting fatter. FML
Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said, "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML
Today, once again, my mom chewed me out for, “playing games on the computer all day.” I’m not playing, it’s 3D modeling, and it’s my job. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poopface82 25
Maybe people with that attitude should be made to step in the shoes of those they look down upon and see how well they do those jobs.
2deployments1divorce 11
How many men who come home greasy every day do you pay to service your home and vehicle every year? Wether he likes it or not you can afford to support the skilled trade he so highly respects.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (5)
poopface82 25
Maybe people with that attitude should be made to step in the shoes of those they look down upon and see how well they do those jobs.
2deployments1divorce 11
How many men who come home greasy every day do you pay to service your home and vehicle every year? Wether he likes it or not you can afford to support the skilled trade he so highly respects.
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure with all the **** you're filtering, you must be taking some wank breaks. Occupational hazard or perk, as it were.
sirrubberduckie 37
If the police pay you to wank all day, how is that a negative?