Today, I woke up to the most awkward breakfast of my life. Apparently, last night after taking my sleeping pill, I went into my mom's room and started spilling secrets left and right. Secrets about my current crush, the people I've hooked up with, and how when I say I'm going over to my friend Beth's house, I'm really seeing a guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
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Top comments
cocacola999 27
I wish I had taken a look at the username and learnt that OP is either 12 or at least at the mental level of a 12-year-old, before clicking FYL.
n1rvanat1zed 0
That's just uncool.
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Comments (198)
cocacola999 27
I wish I had taken a look at the username and learnt that OP is either 12 or at least at the mental level of a 12-year-old, before clicking FYL.
nobridgejustwate 0
Don't worry, I clicked YDI five times. Enough for both of us.
xx3ginaxx3 0
I don't think the OP is 12. The end of her username has 95, which could mean that she was born in 1995, which would mean that the OP is 14-15. Also, 12-year olds really should not be hooking up with guys.
emmmilyyy 0
neither should 14-15 year olds
MissyPastaCreeps 16
Don't worry now their 20
TurtleTim 10
I'm new, what is OP
emanhernandez 22
The op would be like 18
PsychoMerk 0
rofl xD anybody else burst out laughing at picturing OP sitting at the edge of the bed drinking, and smoking a cig like in The Watchmen?! xD
Fedor_is_KING 0
"Comedian" reference, love it!
PsychoMerk 0
Comics n graphic novels= love :) I'm an avid attendee of ComicCon International right here in good ol San Diego :D
ImaginaryFoe 1
PsychoMerk, cosplay? Who?
nobridgejustwate 0
At least you didn't tell them about your buttsecks fetish and the huge rubber **** you keep in your bedside table.
furismurder 4
this
saranottelling 7
#15, that is just too specific to be innocent.
Cynical_AbInitio 0
15 made me bust out laughing
buttshapedfruit 0
wow, hoe
Taylorfacepwns 0
....and youre 14? thaaats normal.
Taylorfacepwns 0
shes not gay, shes going over her boyfriends house to 'hook up'. and most moms would flip a shit if they found out their 14 year old is hooking up with guys on a daily basis.
KurouTenshi 0
didn't this already happen? O_o' hmm...well a lot of FMLs are redundant anyway... *shrugs*
primadonna9396 16
I didn't even finish reading it before seeing your username and YDI. Why? For being a spoiled brat who thinks those are real problems. And reading Twilight.
MellowYelloe 0
Watching Twilight*
KurouTenshi 0
they couldve read it to...it IS a book series. and DID kinda come before the movies...just saying.
Monikabug 9
@94 some people do read more than just FML posts and comments. Just thought I would let you know.
strength413 8
yeah, for instance, all those fun and fancy twilight forums and blogs, in case reading about how much that one girl loved the gay vampire wasn't enough, you can read how real life people love the gay vampire! sounds like a big ol' barrel of fun... oh and this is referring to people who actually read the twilight series and thought it was good, cause there is no way they've read any other actual books.
Emmmmm55 0
wow tht stinks!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahaha
saywaturcoco 0
eewww u have Justin bieber for ur pic!
Cynical_AbInitio 0
Emmmmmmm55 YDI for your profile pic. Whatever life throws at you. YDI
Taylorfacepwns 0
^i second that.
jayseangirl 0
sucks :-/