Today, I was in the car with my daughter when I narrowly missed hitting a car after running a stop sign. After she screamed at me and demanded to know what I was doing, I had to admit that I'd been daydreaming about David Bowie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML
Today, I was arguing in the car with my boyfriend about who was the better driver. Being so incensed by the fact that he thought he was better made me completely zone out, and run a red light. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML
Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML
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Top comments
BigBoyBounce 5
Not only did you almost endanger your daughter, you almost endangered other drivers. People like you don't deserve to have your license.
Mademoiselle_fml 34
I don't blame you. David Bowie's one sexy beast ;)
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Comments (186)
hipsterrkid 2
Not a bad person to day dream about
Wafflestomper 22
Don't dream and drive!
CryMoreFMLs 15
You should be damn well ashamed of yourself Op.
InkedPrincess 5
Jesus, watch VH1 and quit driving your poor child!
MadisonLynn143 4
90 - quit being mean to itskaylabitch, she didn't do anything to you.
alizzette_nabash 6
Uhm Anybody notice the FML says op is a dude!
saidawhiting 14
Yes, lots of people noticed. Like all of the people who commented above you.
6cldcs 0
i have that issue all the time...that man is a sexy beast...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI for running a stop sign (pay attention while driving!) and for daydreaming about David Bowie. That guy is a total freak and I will never understand why so many adore him. Oh, and it's even worse because your a man. I don't mind homosexuality, but there are much better men out there to fantasize about.
saidawhiting 14
People adore him because he's outrageously talented. And while you're entitled to your opinion that there are 'much better men to fantasize about,' the OP is equally entitled to daydream about whomever he likes.
dblogic 19
Hmmm...always crashing in the same car? ;)
dblogic 19
Seriously? Nobody got that? Oh the humanity!!
breefrank 4
HA! You're forgiven.