Today, while meeting a new client, their assistant said I looked familiar. Before my brain could stop me, I blurted out, "I do porn." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML
Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML
Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML
Today, I was at the doctor's office and the doctor asked me, "Have you been having any intimate relations?" and the first thing that I blurted out was, "You mean with other people?" FML
Today, I met my celebrity crush in an official capacity, I was completely tongue tied and when I stood to shake her hand, I tripped and fell with my face in her cleavage. She thought it was funny, but I was mortified and my boss suspended me until security footage proves I didn’t do it on purpose. FML
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Top comments
lilycups 11
Do you actually do **** or was that an instinctual joke?
MDoremis 38
That escalated quickly.
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Comments (38)
melissawarren 7
Well shit...
MDoremis 38
That escalated quickly.
anonymoususer070 17
Haha, why would that even come to mind during something like that? Hopefully you didn't lose the client and they have a sense of humor :)
ulissey_fml 22
So it's fetish ****, hey ? Maybe the assistant liked what you did with that foot ...
Casual_Cthulhu 12
I see what you did there
lilycups 11
Do you actually do **** or was that an instinctual joke?
KayDee29 31
I'm also curious about this.
ThrottleJockey 36
And please provide links, for research purposes.
Malsain_fml 10
#16 Agreed! I wonder if it's a girl or a guy!
KayDee29 31
#16 yes, I'm doing an extensive research on this specific subject. All the research.
Tomato_Cheese 22
Uhmmm...
hardcorefan16 22
You just screwed yourself over.
obvious_lee 9
No, no... that's in the ****.
chelsmokes 14
Why??? How is this a thing that you just blurted out?? Lol
Colon_Man 17
I'm vegan.
MrGarrett26 11
that's a pretty common joke when someone says another looks familiar
hiddenUSERNAME 27
This needs a follow up
species4872 20
Sounds like a good thing to say. Did you give the client a sample tape?