Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
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Top comments
Death_From_Above 0
that's a bit disturbing
chickunkey 0
You should expand your talents for all to see. Get your own show.
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Comments (53)
carlosestrada1 4
that's a talent
rosaaaa_fml 6
waar in Nederland woon je? Amsterdam?
panthergirl8 0
ewwwwwwww
jbsington 8
congrats. you're a fecal whisperer.
Almiesaur 0
LOL!
middletin 0
you could be a superhero with that kinda skill
Tmcalister21 0
Yea OP it happens when you live with a bunch of dudes in college...you are in college right? If not why the hell are you living with so many ppl
iHorus_fml 0
get a hibby girl :)
sonic19951 6
think of it this way, you can yell/blame the correct person instead of yelling "who did it!" and risk them blaming you.
dubvgirl 0
omg ewe lol!!
masqu123 5
Holy shit! (pun intended)