Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after cleaning the whole house, I still couldn't get rid of the foul smell. Later, my roommate revealed his new place to "stash and dry" his socks: The ventilation ducts. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I looked into my sink's garbage disposal for the first time since I moved in two months ago. Apparently, the putrid smell was not the food I've been throwing down it, but instead, a now what appears to be mutilated litter of rats. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML
Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML
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Top comments
Death_From_Above 0
that's a bit disturbing
chickunkey 0
You should expand your talents for all to see. Get your own show.
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Comments (53)
awsamb 8
6 roomates, ouch.
lanexox1d 22
what
Wadlaen 24
Sounds like you should get a job in HR!