Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job Mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
*Cue the shitty puns*
TenderizeMe 0
MUWHA
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Comments (74)
TenderizeMe 0
MUWHA
eyez_lay_low1921 0
take your time "f" the rest.!
lionheart822 13
MUWAHA?
sterlingarcher 1
hahahaahahaha omg win ^^
allanaskye 0
it's muwaha.
allanaskye 0
not really since it's muwaha not muwha
leeshxx 3
boners your nose ring is sexy man
loovemylife 7
I thought it was 'muaha' o_O
lionheart822 13
lol I find that whole jack sparrow goatee, and Justin beiber being eaten by a ferret(?) a lot better. =P
lionheart822 13
and @56, I'm pretty sure that's used for kissing lol
foshizzle33 0
poop on those people
clarkey 0
make a bad smell and when you walk out sayin I left a present!
Boothroid 0
that ain't a ferret eating bieber its an opossum but still glad its happening
j_cat187 20
did u make sick histarical moaning sounds?
dolphincheddar 10
so leave them a present on the seat. and wherever else it goes. or tell them your busy reinacting hiroshima
morgan320 0
Take a shit on the seat, run out and yell "Brown chicken brown cow!"
SpilltMilk2 0
Throw all the toilet paper in the hole.
Lucidium 0
89 that isn't even the right context...
whitesox365 0
you must be this full with shit to ride the ride
robotiick 12
31 u just made my day
thisdue1775 0
you are beautiful
number1beaner 0
You should of unrolled all the toilet paper and thrown it inside the toilet for rushing you dude.
skinollie 0
tenderize- you have an amazing smile! we should be friends :)
sterlingarcher 1
aww man that really sucks!
lionheart822 13
what if OP was a lady? Curious-would any of you ladies actually take a dump in a public porta-potty if you had the runs? lol it's like one of those really rare instances.
sterlingarcher 1
lol I would if I really had to go..
lionheart822 13
yeah I guess that's true. but I thought that women were just born with like some natural self control, since they're normally almost never caught farting in public. idk convo's getting kinda weird lol.
sterlingarcher 1
haha yeah I agree.. weird conversation..
CitrusGirl 0
Ladies just have silent farts, and we don't announce them to the people around us. Ladies fart just as much, they just don't tell anyone :)
sterlingarcher 1
haha ikr? it's not like we want people to kno that we farted lol
lionheart822 13
yeah I know, but how's that fair at all? lol but then again we have a saying from back where I come from where "the silents are deadly, while the loud ones are just for show." xD
sterlingarcher 1
haha that is so true!! Silent is always deadly! lol
TheDrifter 24
Don't forget usually blamed on someone else. I'm sure most of the men here have been blamed for a fart that wasn't ours.
sterlingarcher 1
haha so true I blame my friends all the time
MTJY 21
I heard my girlfriend fart, she's now my ex because of that :)
sterlingarcher 1
haha really?
kofinater 3
If it was that "though to take a shit" the op wouldn't have diarrhea now would they?
purplekanc 24
That’s childish
JeralynBoox3 0
ewwww op . thaaat must suckkkk :3 :/
j_cat187 20
ha sucking in a porta-potty
Saint_Pete_Saint 0
yeah I would hate it if that happened to me
ImInABox 6
That stinks.
bbucaro98 0
haha i see what ya did there
sterlingarcher 1
haha win
SCREAM4meeee 0
lovely :)
KMilliron 2
Piss them off enough and they might tip it!
marinus_fml 20
*Cue the shitty puns*
marinus_fml 20
Sad but true.
19eightyeight 4
shit on e floor. that'll teach em.
marijuanasmoker4 3
Then how do you get out without getting shitty yourself.
19eightyeight 4
who said anything bout not shittin yourself. hahahaha.
bigbadtim 7
Shitty.
Time2spare 0
That sucks op. But look at it this way, when you finally get out of there, you should do the same thing to them. Maybe try and tip it ...
Mortoli 30
lol the smell will be bad enough to have to live through im sure.
NuyoRicanGirl 3
at least you had TP I think it would be worse if you didn't
NuyoRicanGirl 3
oh and when you're done take the TP with you that'll really piss them off