Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
What an unreasonable and irrational father.
last_fml 0
Tell your Dad he's a fool and that you'll take a drug test to prove him wrong.. Hope it all works out, Pothead
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Comments (75)
thnksfrnthng 0
this made my day. fyl.
railfan_fml 0
parents. your dad needs to start giving you the credit of actually telling the truth.
Shit4Luk 0
You should try it. It's not really as life altering as the media would have you think as long as you aren't stupid about it. And chances are that daddy dearest has tried it and that's why he's worried.
katrinaa_13 0
HUGS NOT DRUGS. :)
Cemetery 0
take a urine test, that will set him at ease. P.S. there is nothing wrong with pot. I have never smoked it, but i know the truth. Look it up.
imhilarious 0
lol you should just reshape your head!
tortise34 4
there's a kid at my school 2 and we call him pothead cause he likes Harry potter.
biatchluuv 0
awww! poor youu, fyll!
Cnote231 0
ya go smoke pot if u plan on never completing college and barely passing highschool. I know plenty of weed smokers and their on a path that leads to no where.
jtsyanks 2
i know this is from a year ago but i just have to comment on it because of how ******* retarded it is. i made the deans list my first semester and the presidents list the second semester of college this past year as a freshman. and ya know what? i was stoned at least half of both semesters.
Sanchezzz 0
agree. OP, **** your life for not trying weed.