Today, during an interview, I was given a list of items and asked which items I would take to a deserted island. When I chose a Bible, the interviewer asked why. I replied, "So I can burn it." What I meant to say was, "So I can use it to start a fire if the trees on the island bear fruit." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of unemployment, I got an interview. It went great until the recruiter asked if I had questions. Trying to sound thoughtful, I asked, "What do employees dislike most about working here?" The recruiter laughed and said, "That's a unique way to phrase that." I spent the rest of the interview wondering why my brain chose violence at the worst possible moment. FML
Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML
Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to climb a tree. My older sister also thought it would be fun to set the tree on fire. FML
Today, I had a job interview that I really wanted to nail. Everything was great until the interviewer asked me why I left my last job. I meant to say, "I felt it was time for a new challenge," but instead I said, "I felt tired of pretending to care." The look on their face was priceless. Needless to say, but I don't think I'll get the job. FML
Today, my shirt caught on fire when I was burning paper for my ancestors at the cemetery. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to “describe a time I overcame a challenge.” My mind went blank. After 10 seconds of silence, I blurted out, “Once, I tried to cancel my gym membership.” FML
Today, I told my fiancé that I don’t believe in God, so I won’t be going to church anymore because I’ll be picking up the Sunday shift at work. I don’t have a fiancé anymore because I’m, “a godless heathen who will burn for eternity.” FML
Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML
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Top comments
Sonofaquiche 9
Phrasing, honey, Phrasing...
oreosaretoocool 18
Everyone gets nervous O.P but surely a match or lighter would have been a better answer?
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Comments (47)
Sonofaquiche 9
Phrasing, honey, Phrasing...
LyricaSilvan 30
Pretty sure OP understands the concept, given they made this FML with clear awareness of their mistake.
oreosaretoocool 18
Everyone gets nervous O.P but surely a match or lighter would have been a better answer?
supertrampk 8
OP said they were given a list of items to pick from, we don't know if either match or a lighter was on that list
TheEndIsNigh 10
Besides, they would be used to start a fire, not as the fuel to keep one going.
greeneyebeauty9 28
I'm really annoyed at the fact that several people didn't read the FML thoroughly enough to know & remember that OP was given a list before commenting..
arandomperson97 19
Both phrases kinda sound sacrilegious. Maybe choose a standard book as opposed to desecrating anybodies faith. And yes I would've said the same if this were a Quran/Torah, etc.
ShotaSammy 17
They were given a list to choose from. They probably only had the 1 book on it.
sousaphonist 14
...that second statement actually makes LESS sense
Burle 17
If the trees on the island bear fruit, you would not want to cut them down for firewood as they are a source of food.
Rock_Lobsterr 10
If you cut down the tree, it will no longer grow fruit. You don't want to cut down what might be your only food source.
Misoranomegami 16
I'm really hoping that this wasn't a job interview because it would be entirely inappropriate to ask if you'd take a Bible somewhere with you.
Cynical_1 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I like your actual response better than your intended one. Being ripped up and used to start fires is pretty much the only thing the Bible is good for. Other than scaring children that is.
bones098 0
Amen to that *badum tss*
jcash52426 5
They want you to know survival skill so when you mess up they don't have to give you a severance package they can just dump you on a deserted island.
CrazyJolteon 0
Well why not just a book? YDI
epilepticloh 20
He was given a list of items,he didn't pick what he personally wanted at the top of his head
usatoday65 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
In yesistan bibles don't exist we have the yestonomicron. The infidels have the nononominocron
Isamermaid 17
I'm not getting the part "...if the trees on the island bear fruit."
Kaylana_fml 31
Agreed, the clarification didn't make it sound any less sacrilegious to me. Seeing as I'm not a Christian, I can only wonder if it's referencing a passage in the bible that I'm not familiar with?
TabooSushi 24
You guys are both overcomplicating it: OP means that if the island's trees bore fruit, OP wouldn't want to chop them all up for wood and kindling because then a good food source would be gone.
BananEnigma 24
Logic - it's a beautiful thing.
awesomeamandas 37
I believe OP is saying that if the trees grow fruit that they don't want to use the trees to start a fire so they won't lose a food source, so they chose to use paper from the bible instead. which still doesn't make a lot of sense since they could use fallen leaves and twigs instead without having to interfere with the food source.
slackoffalready 3
You don't want to cut down trees that feed you.