Today, after soccer practice, I was walking to the car with my dad. My teammates waved and said "BYE POTHEAD!" They call me that because they think my head is shaped like a pot. Of course, my dad didn't believe me. I'm grounded now because I have an abnormally-shaped head. I've never smoked pot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, unlike what you may have joked about with your friends, I actually did meet people who told me to "take a hit or we'll beat the shit out of you." I got picked up by my mom 20 minutes later like planned. When my mom noticed I was high, she grounded me for the "rest of high school." FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
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Top comments
Seegtease 0
What an unreasonable and irrational father.
last_fml 0
Tell your Dad he's a fool and that you'll take a drug test to prove him wrong.. Hope it all works out, Pothead
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Comments (75)
savesam 0
try it
marrggiiee 0
ok. are you friends with a girl named reena? because i go to school with her and she was telling me that story the other day. and i was wondering if its the same person.
DanielleCannibal 0
why not? smoke two joints
crazydoug 0
YOU HAVE NEVER SMOKED WEED!? WUT A LOSER HAHAHAHA
princess90 0
woa that sucks..... and ppl that say your a loser cuz u have never smoked have obviously smoked enough to **** up enough of their braincells. what dumbasses... but yea sucks for you that your dad wouldnt believe you. on the other hand did your friends really think your dad wouldnt immediately think they meant drugs rather than a POT
wesurfeveryday 0
why havent you smoked weed?? im confused haha :P
Grffin 0
Lol, how could your possibly be shaped like a pot?
offtimeguitarist 0
SMOKE WEED!
that_guy_you_are 0
YDI for being a potheed.
funnyyy 0
tell them to drug test you