Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
If that were me in that situation, given the irony, I'd regret absolutely nothing.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Don't have sex. YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE!
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Comments (213)
westonschmeston 3
doesn't matter. had sex.
kissmyballs 0
That's hilarious, regardless of how ride it is xD typical of modern teachers to tell us to "wait until marriage" and crap while meanwhile they go and get knocked up on the first date.
Mr25_fml 14
No regrets!
kay_princess14 7
Now that's messed up
yohipy100 0
TOTALY WORTH IT
Fricktion 3
Nothing pisses me off more than hypocrites!
mikey2slice 2
Your teachers need to learn to take a joke. That's really funny haha
juicycouture101 0
Hahahaha thts too harsh...who WOULDN'T laugh?!
BunBunBabe 8
That's awesome, plus how hard you laughed at them publicly was probably a huge slap in the face- so goal accomplished
curlygirly1 8
Haha i would have done the same thing :)