Today, my doctor booked me in for an STI test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said, "Gonna be honest Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, I went in for an STD test. The Q-tip broke off in my urethra. FML
Today, I got a call from my doctor telling my I tested positive for an STI (first time in my fucking life). Mind you, I got the call while my dermatologist was cutting open my butt cheek to drain an abscess. I also got told on top of the new hole in my ass and the STI that I also have a yeast infection. Happy Monday. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML
Today, I went to see a doctor because of some blood in my stool. Not only is the matter embarrassing enough as is, it turned out the doctor was a young, crisply dressed, extremely handsome man. I then had his finger in my ass for a check-up, all the while him being very nice about it. I'm still mortified. FML
Today, I got prostate examination for the first time. Now I can't decide what's worse, the fact that I got a boner when the doctor inserted his finger, or the fact that my wife told the story to pretty much everybody we know. FML
Today, I went to go see a specialist for my prostate and was told he would have to do an exam before I could leave. Having had this checked just the previous year, I was more than a little irritated. As I was bent over the table the Dr. said, "Now, just pretend I'm Angelina Jolie." FML
Today, I got a urinary tract infection. I didn’t realize men could get those. Worse yet, my girlfriend thinks it’s an STI because, “IF I’M NOT FUCKING YOU, SOMEONE MUST BE!” FML
Today, holding my teenager's hand at the hospital, I unfortunately had a front row seat as a nurse manipulated his penis trying to pop a ball bearing out of his urethra. He had been curious to see if it fit. It did. And no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t pee it out, so off to the hospital we went. FML
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Top comments
YourBuddyElmo 5
On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.
glittercookies 12
It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.
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Comments (221)
YourBuddyElmo 5
On the bright side....nope, nothing's coming to me.
slick5880 22
Hopefully the sex was worth it.
thatgirlinoregon 21
On the bright side, they're not sticking anything up his poop-chute.
Michael_92 20
Wait I got something.....nah nothing nevermind.
GovernorGeneral 8
I got it! I got the perfect..oh. Oh look there it goes.
Isaac_The_Man 0
There are catheters that fit on like a condom...
Brice28_fml 10
When I was 7 I had to have one done because whenever I pissed it wouldn't come all the way out and they had to fill my bladder that way.. Needless to say it hurts like a bitch and it hurts to pee for 2 weeks or so afterwards.
Sanch101 7
Nothing will be coming to him after having that done (for a while at least).
j_cat187 20
It came, it came... it came all over the floor
SmellyTaco 5
I think that might actually be better than getting something up your dick, and the doc saying it will ******* hurt
glittercookies 12
It's worth it. You're being responsible and safe.
stevenJB 25
My name is Steve.....!!!!! :(
StoryOfTheYear 15
Oh my, aren't you the unique one.
thebeautybleeds 17
He obviously wan't being responsible and safe not too log ago...
TSN619 7
40- just because he is getting an STD test doesn't mean he was irresponsible, even if you wear a condom there is a slight chance of catching an STD. Also, even I'f the woman is on birth control and you wear a condom there is still a chance of her getting pregnant. So please know what you're talking about before you open your mouth.
RedPillSucks 33
Especially if any "oral" was involved. But then, I guess they wouldn't be checking his dick.
thebeautybleeds 17
Jeez 115, cool your ****. I know. I was making a joke.
glittercookies 12
They check your throat along with your dick/vag. Because you can pass along STDs orally.
loopsy_fml 14
115, STDs can be passed by birth too
guagmire 0
I like this guy (no ****)
thatguynamedsky 32
my middle name is steve
Shaniaaa20 0
Eek. That's gonna sting.
thejewishfuhrer 17
I'd be pissed.
SadDashie92 3
60 - I c what u did there
derecteevee 1
idk what they do up there in Newfoundland but every time I've been tested its blood work and urine samples
nofearjenshere 12
Good luck! Just reading this made me cringe, and I'm a girl. :b
MDTeddy 13
I don't see why you would cringe. It isn't happening to you. At least you gave him some good luck. Make it another too.
thatgirlinoregon 21
Girls can have tests with catheters through the urethra as well; trust me, it's not pleasant.
ladyLALAA 29
I think she was cringing at the thought of what it would be like. I did the sanme, poor OP, ask for the green whistle.
HeartOfLead 24
C'mon, no one here thought that's something Dr. Leo spaceman from 30 rock would say?
MrMyers777 0
That hurts just thinking about it! Sorry dude..
SarcasticUnicorn 9
That must hurt like a bitch.
twilightluvr101 4
No really!
ddlovatolover 23
No. Just no.
Jdog619 11
I have an imaginary friend named Steve. Steve's an asshole.
instnt1nfction 17
Soon he'll be a big dickhole
skittihorse 8
Steve's an asshole with a piss-pipe.
n_epic_fail 14
Have your dick hurt for awhile is better than carrying an STD
midnight165 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'd rather be kicked in the balls than have something go up my junk like that.. Fyl
zombicidal 11
I hate reading things like this. it gives me sympathy pains