Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
If that were me in that situation, given the irony, I'd regret absolutely nothing.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Don't have sex. YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE!
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Comments (213)
FML_Master2133 6
What an asshole. (the teacher, that is)
FML_Master2133 6
It is because the teacher lied to the students. Maybe she should set a good example?
RedPillSucks 33
She didn't lie. Abstinence will prevent pregnancy. She also may not have had a choice since state laws may require her to teach what she may not believe. Not saying I agree with the policy, just that there are circumstances that make this quite understandable and not the teachers fault.
Linaelle 14
Hum. As others already said it, I am very uncomfortable with the idea of "sex ed" only being a rant about abstinence. That's not education, that's just a shortcut to unprotected sex ! Because let's face it, just because you tell teens not to do it won't actually stop them. So wouldn't it be better to at least tell them about safe sex ? Or is it no problem to the school administration if the rate of STDs and unwanted teen pregnancies goes up uncontrollably ?
rattusrattus 19
It's all OK if you're spreading some unhealthy ideas about sex and sexuality, like a woman's worth is her virginity, all men are horny simpletons with no self-control, non-heterosexual people don't exist...
fantasyworld 39
You tell a teen not to do something, they are gonna do it. Better to tell them about sex and consequences.
FoxRacerGirl7 7
I'd laugh too.
muckler 1
I don't think your life sucks and I don't think you deserved it. I think you're pretty awesome and if we went to school together we would be spending detention together.
effedml 5
Tho the original premise is funny, the teacher could have gone to a fertility clinic.
rattusrattus 19
A nice demonstration of the effectiveness of Abstinence-Only education.
sickenedwinter86 0
Worth it!
Anubis_81 21
Haha. Wow, maybe it was the immaculate conception?
vbmg152 19
Wow! Another case of "Do as I say, not as I do!" Great role model that teacher is! It'd be worth detention to me, being able to laugh at her dumb a**!! She deserved it!!!
lostfaithinpppl 19
I agree!
darnellq 13
Has anyone taken into consideration that said teacher might have been raped?
darnellq 13
I love how I got a "thumbs down" because I asked a question that should be asked before we pass judgement on the teacher. And before any comments are made, I don't mean spiritually judged as I'm not religious.