Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Today, at my job as a second grade teacher, I was explaining to my students how I'm pregnant and will have to take a break from teaching after I have my baby. One of my students replied with "Ooooooooohhh Ms. Johnson had sex!" FML
Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML
Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML
Today, we had to re-live sex ed in my college biology class. Unlike in middle school, nobody giggled incessantly. However, the guy sitting next to me stared at me intensely for nearly the whole three hour lecture. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, I found out my sex-ed teacher from high school was married and had her first child while she herself was still in high school. Looks like she didn't pay enough attention in sex-ed. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, the woman who sits behind me in class showed up. She shrieks in laughter until she has coughing fits every time anything even remotely sexual is mentioned, including evidence in sexual assault cases. Lectures are 3 hours long, twice a week, and I need this class to graduate. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
If that were me in that situation, given the irony, I'd regret absolutely nothing.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
Don't have sex. YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE!
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Comments (213)
Shicky_fml 0
Wow... How ironic! I believe you should wait till marriage, but that doesn't we can't get a head start ;)
laurenmacias 0
Reminds me of mean girls
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Irony or hypocrisy, you decide
MidnaLink 35
I'm sorry, but if u laugh at a pregnant abstinence only teacher, then FYL.
rowanessence 4
Lmao
totallyepicchick 0
Totally worth it I bet :D
Davick 0
I'd say the detention was worth it haha!
vwjunkie747 0
WORTH IT
C0N71NG3NCY 6
She doesn't count as a Sex Ed teacher, FYI. You don't actually have sexual education as part of your curriculum, the Republicans and Jesus-freaks would shit bricks. Yours is more of a half-assed attempt to show you which tab goes into which slot in a politically correct, "omg don't do that" way. She's prolly an Ethics/Morality/Gym teacher who had the misfortune of having her name pulled out of the hat. Also, you are stupid. Have you considered the fact that she's an adult and is responsible enough to be having sex whenever the **** she wants, whereas you're not? God forbid she be, y'know, married or some shit. Announcing she's pregnant means she intends to keep it, whereas you would most likely spend a month or two trying to recall how many drunken 14-year-olds you slept with in order to make a wild guess at the father. Whoops, you waited too long and now you can't legally abort it. I suppose that never actually mattered considering you're younger than 16 to begin with and don't actually have that right... oooh, now you're going to have to tell mommy and daddy you were a naughty little girl! Teenagers thinking they know anything. :'(
ConradKay 13
1) Read the post. The OP stated that the teacher was single. 2) There is no age limit for getting an abortion where I live. 3) You have no reason to believe that the OP is a ****, so don't make that assumption. Plus, what if she is? Since when did having fun become a crime?
Rohitas20 0
Haha. you guys wont believe it. in India, sex/sexuality is the biggest taboo ever. you cant even use the damn words! our books talk of homosexuality and hetrosexualitiy as "sexual problems". literally. not lying. a teen just cant buy a contraceptive from a chemist because the chemist just wont give it!! most of the people dont know what the Kamasutra is!!!! marriages are arranged, and those people have sex for only one reason: producing a baby. most of the people actually stay virgins till they are married, i.e. 30-35. in most so called co-ed schools there are separate stairs for boys and girls! 90% people think making any kind of physical contact, (even holding hands, kissing, etc.) is a sin! i'm so sick of all this. :/ PS: i myt hav made a few typos :P