That was quick
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the face, mumbled an apology and began snoring again. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML
Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML
Today, my husband woke up in the middle of the night feeling frisky. He woke me up, got me all hot and ready to go, then before I could get into position he fell back to sleep, leaving me to fend for myself. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Well, that escalated quickly...
shrimp1234 4
He has no staying power at all.
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Comments (155)
baronsmommy 14
If he can't take a little rousing, sounds like you would've ended disappointed any way.
onlychildFTW 34
Maybe he was just having a very stimulated dream and it would have been a wet dream anyways? Those happen.
dupot420 9
What's up
stephan18 23
If the girl goes for morning sex, I bet this isn't the first time that he hasn't done the job right :/
Goldenchest 14
Or maybe OP's just really REALLY good at rousing
emilyjgraham 34
92, or maybe she wants a little more of what happened the night before?
hellya14 0
Round 2?
TheNewGuy03 29
"Um, honey, didn't get it the first time. Come again?"
Kiki242 19
Maybe he was having a sexy dream about you.
DocBastard 40
He obviously heard you say "Come on, wake up!" and took it literally.
gc327072 31
FINISH HIM!!! Oh wait...
drkate25 30
Wakey wakey hands off snakey!!!
supimnyancat 9
I bet he's more embarrassed about it than you are disappointed.
OhDearBetrayal 25
This is why I'm glad I'm a woman.
rainbowteehee 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ah jeez... Get a new bf..
DocBastard 40
Yes, this from the 14-year old twit who says "Men r *****(: there is no double standard" in her profile info. I realise not all teenagers are like you, but it's people like you who give your generation a bad reputation.
meetmissmayhem 4
23 do you even know what this post is about? You're 14. You shouldn't.
acidkitten 14
Talking about giving our generation a bad name, do you happen to remember that 15-year-old liberal psychologist...?
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#43 I know my definitions. Remember there are many different dictionaries and many different definitions to words. But never mind that, heck at least I'm one of the few 15 year olds who care about school and studies and don't only care about "Pussy, Money, and Weed"
Welshite 40
#46: I was attending college classes at 16, and I find you extremely arrogant and annoying. At least I admitted that I knew next to nothing while in school, and have only learned a marginal amount since, compared to the vast expanse of knowledge available.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#43 - Lol, apparently he comes when called! (pun not intended)
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
#49 the entire time yesterday, if you read all the way back to the beginning. I stated that I mostly/only study psychology, that's why I didn't know of the country "Paraguay". I never said "I'm smartest in the world because I study psychology". I even apologized for my ignorance of said country. Then people wanted to Fight about definition, forgetting that there are hundreds of dictionaries, which would explain why we had different definitions to words (But if you look at it again, our definitions weren't that different, they were just phrased differently). But can we not get back to this damn argument.
spaboolly 26
Hollowchigo, or whatever that's supposed to say, please don't jack this thread to try to defend yourself from the comments on a completely different FML. Pretty sure no one here (or there most likely) cares what you think you know.
_Oblivion_ 12
43 ****, he's back.
RaveBlade 4
Umm Mr. Psychologist? Just stop commenting.
awagh666 14
Hollowchigo, please stop being an asshole
RaveBlade 4
Hahaha omg his changed description is hilarious :'D
Hiimhaileypotter 53
54, we're not saying you're an idiot because you are interested in/are a student of psychology XD I took AP (a college course) psychology last year, my junior year of high school. I love it and am really interested in it. But I don't call myself an expert, or a psychologist. Because I haven't been through college and gotten a degree for it. Just like you're not an expert in it because you're interested in it.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
I'm tired of trying to be reasonable and polite. You want my 15 year old side, fine. You can suck my dick and please take it personal. Because I never said I was an expert, I never said anything to put myself in a position above anyone. I simply said I was a psychologist by definition.
Welshite 40
Kid, that's enough. I have a degree in chemistry, yet I don't call myself a chemist. Why? Because I'm not employed as a chemist, and I feel guilty titling myself as something I'm not. Get off your high horse. Oh and by the way you did say you were an expert in psychology, ref: comment #50 of that extremely long thread yesterday.
klovemachine 24
107 = winner :)
DocBastard 40
xXHollowIchigoXx - You're obviously very articulate, especially for 15, but you came off yesterday as EXTREMELY arrogant. And you continue to try to convince people that you're a psychologist. Please let me assure you that you are not a psychologist in any way, shape, or form. Studying something does NOT automatically make you an expert. Once you are EMPLOYED as a psychologist, only then can you actually claim to be a psychologist. Doing what you're doing simply makes you look like an arrogant little kid
Hiimhaileypotter 53
107- I'd really rather not suck your dick, thanks for the offer though!
kalbrek009 20
"Psychologist by definition" is a person who has studied it, been schooled in it & has the degree from a college (or other accredited learning institution) showing as much...obviously you, are nothing more than a high school (aged child) who reads psychological information & thinks it makes you a psychologist (which it technically "by (ANY) definition"...doesn't make you one. Please don't make (as they say) "claims to fame" when/where you have none.
SenselessPattern 12
Nooope. We aren't going to create another monster thread today. I lost three good men trying to reach the end of the last one, and one of them is still in a coma. Make the madness end now, before it's too late.
Welshite 40
Senseless I believe you are now one of my favorite commenters.
walmartpaysme 15
Do people not realize once you are thumbed down on a thread, all of your comments on that thread will probably be thumbed down?Funny thing is, I thought we had to be 18 to even look at this site...
rainbowteehee 6
How is bringing also MEN down when they have sex with several sexual partners "ruining are generation"??? It's making it more equal.
walmartpaysme 15
You're fourteen. Sex should not even be on your mind. Go play sports or something.
fmlallthetyme 23
You must at least see that your spelling and sentence structure ruin the opinions of our generation...
rainbowteehee 6
How do u know im 14 or not?? U don't know any thing about me or if I'm really 14 or not. Thousands of people lie on line. And who said I was thinking about sex?? When I said "ahh jeez... Get a new bf..." I was kidding but I should have been smart enough to know that no one can take a joke on FML.
j_cat187 20
Burn the witch! *bitch
goofy4123 8
I feel like I missed something...
MissIconic 8
Now he'll last longer after that! Go for it?
RentaName 15
Just give it 30 minutes or so and try again.
court_f 8
Could've been worse... He could've stayed limp and rolled over... Drooling.
liftedyoda 5
Hahaha weak
DomDomxoxo 16
Your comment is weak.
liftedyoda 5
Then scroll past it
redmane 21
But 83, you fail to realize the people here on FML are sarcastic trolls. There wouldn't be much entertainment if the sass disappeared. Much like yours, comments would be weak.
liftedyoda 5
Again scroll past it (: