Today, my grandpa told me that he and grandma had an open relationship, because, "it isn't satisfying to have sexuality with only one person your whole life.” According to grandma, he just cheated on her constantly and she couldn’t do anything to stop him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML
Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML
Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML
Today, my grandma told me that if she was a braver person, she would've actually have split up with grandad on their second date, but she was afraid of being alone so she married him instead and had a bunch of kids she never actually wanted. Wow. FML
Today, I attended a family reunion, during which my grandma gave me "relationship advice" in front of everyone. She's been married five times, and her longest marriage lasted a whole 6 months. FML
Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML
Today, I overheard my grandad complaining that without the winter heating allowance, it’s going to be too cold for him and grandma to get naked for sex, unless they just expose the necessary bits to each other for a few minutes. Props they still get it on in their 70s but still, ew grandad. FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
Today, I married the man of my dreams. At the after-party, my psycho grandma stood up, called for quiet, and engaged in a long rant about how this was "the beginning of the end" and advising everyone that the secret to a successful marriage is "cheating, plain and simple". FML
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Top comments
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
so tell your grandpa that it wasn't and he cheated on poor grandma. make him feel like shit
RichardPencil 32
I'm guessing it was a "semi-open" relationship -- y'know, one where grandpa could stray but grandma couldn't.
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Comments (5)
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
so tell your grandpa that it wasn't and he cheated on poor grandma. make him feel like shit
DirtySalamander 9
you think that's gonna make feel like shit after all he has done? lol nah
RichardPencil 32
I'm guessing it was a "semi-open" relationship -- y'know, one where grandpa could stray but grandma couldn't.
samomaha 17
This sucks, but it defintely is not an FML for you. It's an FML for Gran.
Jillian Cosby-Kelly 15
sadly, this is quite typical of the older generations. theres an old saying that women came up with to make themselves feel better : don't care where he is at lunch, so long as he's home by dinner. a man cheating was just "standard" back in the day. more did than didn't. it's really quite nasty.
jfigley 5
Yea, and thats really ****** up. If you can't keep with with the woman you put the ring on, don't waste her time and **** around....
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Get a young guy friend to pretend to be grandma's new bf lol.