Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
parenting at its finest hour
TerraShadow 18
Didn't they always say before every Jackass movie to not try this at home.
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Comments (104)
Ultradmac 9
nice bonding moment. to what to dare the father now...
elcee1987 18
How fast was he going to get whiplash??
Itsjustaphase 8
Whiplash is, as memory serves, the result of spine extention, noticeably in the neck area, and can happen even at relatively low speeds; whiplash is pretty common amongst headbangers if you can believe it. In this case it was probably caused by the abrupt deceleration of the trunk whilst the un-braced head continued to travel forward, causing the spine to stretch beyond it's normal limits until the muscles and ligaments did their job to kept the kid's head firmly attached to his body. If you have troubles visualizing what I'm saying, mime knocking on a door. Your hand is the kid's head, your wrist the neck, and your forearm is the spine. Keep knocking for about 10-20 seconds and your wrist will start to hurt; you don't even have to knock 'hard' to cause discomfort (but the harder you knock the quicker and the more intense the discomfort). What you're experiencing is the most common form of whiplash.
martin8337 36
Jack ass? More like dumb ass.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Obviously, the kid got his brains from his father. :-/
Liiiiiiiiike 15
Hello my names Johnny Knoxville welcome to jackass
ethan_unoxx 29
Parents especially husbands today
starsierra 15
Wow op that sucks
stoophilstrava 6
My son got hurt from a jackass stunt too
twodotgirl 8
wonderful! what a great parent.
rocko00 6
Husbands are like children.
ironik69 31
Like children that never grow up, that you adopted from his parents because they had enough of his shenanigans.
Axel5238 29
One figures dumb shit like this might happen with teens or young college students, but past an age it's sad. It's even worse the father was involved and dared him. I have a strange feeling if the son does stuff like this father is going to have "boys will be boys" mentality, but after the trip to the ER maybe they've both learned a lesson. At the very least if you are gonna do dumb stuff make sure you are getting paid well.