Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
parenting at its finest hour
TerraShadow 18
Didn't they always say before every Jackass movie to not try this at home.
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Comments (104)
Jaee1992 4
Oh my
kendallfireHD 16
Classic parenting fail.
alicat13 12
You married the jackass
nmrat 10
I think we need some information from the father in this situation. OP, get him to explain why he did it and then tell us!
sjonnie_fml 10
where's the video?
gothicminx89 3
My only issue is OP using American terminology when they live in the UK.
Demoniq 25
1) I would vote on your comment if I could, #85! 2) #84 - OP lives in UK and therefore can't be from anywhere else? Migration is a perfectly normal process to follow for most...
gothicminx89 3
I never said they couldn't but I've never heard anyone in UK use American terminology like that even if they aren't from the UK. It's just something I find annoying.
vividpictures 17
Okay. Once "jackass" is even mentioned, I think the E.R should be on speed dial.
i8cake 12
Your husband and son boning! I would have loved if my dad was as cool with me at that age, despite broken bones...
i8cake 12
Bonding, not boning...stupid autocorrect
ladymunchkin742 11
Well at least you didn't have to pay for the damage caused to the store.
purpleamber1 11
That's freaking hilarious!!!!!!! You're raising two sons if you already didnt know that. Poor OP XD.