Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my eight-year-old son. He broke his arm after jumping out through the second story window. He was too impatient to walk to the ice cream van pulling up outside. FML
Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML
Today, my 12 year-old son came home with two broken arms after finding an awesome place to ride his bike. He found a sweet jump and his handlebars broke. He's currently in slings and waiting for an appointment with a surgeon, the breaks were so bad, the hospital couldn't reset them. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML
Today, I visited the hospital with my boyfriend to have an injury checked. When the doctor removed the band-aid, my boyfriend started screaming and passed out. I had to get him out of the room using a wheelchair. The "injury" is a cut on his finger. FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML
Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML
Today, I walked outside, slipped, busted my head, and had to get 7 stitches. Turns out my son thought it would be funny to spray the sidewalk with water last night so it would freeze. He got a laugh, and I spent over $100 on the stitches. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
parenting at its finest hour
TerraShadow 18
Didn't they always say before every Jackass movie to not try this at home.
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Comments (104)
TerraShadow 18
Didn't they always say before every Jackass movie to not try this at home.
hacksaw246 24
He didn't try it home. He did at the market so it's all good :D
DeltaDragonxx 20
13, your a jackass...
Nexoux 18
No...he's a hacksaw
DeltaDragonxx 20
I was being sarcastic...
bravesgirl55 11
#16, You're... If you're going to tell someone they're a jackass, make sure you don't look like one too.
DeltaDragonxx 20
so I assume i have to to spell out sarcasm, when all it takes is common sense to realize it is?
Criticalvector 4
Coming from someone who can't spell lol
foxwasalamb 24
frankly 44, i don't even know why your sarcasm was needed in the first place. if you're trying to be funny, i still don't get it then
stargirl_95 24
That wasn't sarcasm though. That was either a poor cover up of a bad comment or an extremely poor attempt at sarcasm. For goodness sake it's like people don't even try anymore
brandoneyez1 25
Guessing you have to go shopping again, so double FYL sorry op
njgohard 16
Hi, I'm Steve-O-why do I have to be Steve-O? I really don't wanna be Steve-O right now.
baseballbv 17
Amazing how you shouldn't try that stuff at home! Even the Jackass crew was crippled by their stunts.
_FML_Austin_ 12
The dislike trolls are apparent on this post...
RedPillSucks 33
Why would anyone want to emulate/replicate anything on "Jackass"?
Zebediabolical 45
The only difference between Jackass and my childhood is that now lightweight reasonably priced video cameras are common. If we'd been able to afford one way back then, we'd have been famous too!
ELoni_fml 25
Did he do it for the vine?
shoofly777 3
Your husband is an dumb ass.
vikky538 29
was it uploaded to youtube...
rowdyrooster 5
Your husband sounds awesome!