Today, I was stuck in the car with my grandma for an hour as she described to me how she had looked through my great grandma's poop to make sure her calcium pills were being digested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was alone in the car with my grandma for five hours while she told me all about the multiple bladder infections she's had in the past year. FML
Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my bedridden, 94-year-old grandma. She woke me up at 6 a.m. only to tell me her UTI is still there. Later, she made me interrupt my 15-minute-dinner a total of 4 times because she wanted things like "more lotion in her buttcrack." FML
Today, I found out my grandma has been slipping laxatives into my food. Apparently, I was constipated once as a child and "once constipated, always constipated." FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. She went to the bathroom and was gone for a long while. I jokingly asked, "What happened, you fall in?" She did. She had shit all over the back of her shirt. FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML
Today, I offered to drive my girlfriend's grandpa to the doctor. I thus learned my girlfriend's grandfather has a colostomy bag when it burst all over the inside of my truck. FML
Today, I walk into my grandma's house after having a fabulous lunch with a few friends. The first thing I hear is "Be a dear and help me change my colostomy bag." I lost that fabulous lunch. FML
Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML
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Top comments
Random_Person88 8
i spent like 5 mins trying to come up with a response to this but i just couldn't.
iAmScrubs 19
"Well, let me tell you one thing young one. The first thing I check for is if the poop is a healthy shade of green. Then I put my hand in it to check if it is the right texture. The last thing I do is waft the smell towards me. It should smell like a combination between sulphuric acid and orange juice."
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Comments (113)
kittykat1497 7
that's something... interesting?
enonymous 9
Well how else would you check? I roll around in my own poop looking for.... oh who the **** am I fooling I do it for fun
JesusFishTaco 5
May I join you?
lukehappygilmore 4
room for one more??(:
enonymous 9
Yes just becareful I had Cuban last night. it burned going in and out
skiier4life 1
20- hellllllllll yeeeeeeaahhhh
UnicornHunter 12
YDI OP because I say YDI to everything.
Enslaved 38
I like Cuban in me sometimes, too. They're freaks in the bed. Nothing wrong with a little burn!
dolphincheddar 10
At least there wasn't sperm and blood in his poop
sydmior 10
You roll around in your own poop for fun? I would have to take an hour-long shower after that.
Iamnotmyself 17
-51 Usually it's with piss when i do these things. enoumous, come to Vegas I hired strippers to join us!
T0sta 8
Doesn't everyone?
coffeygirl12 14
well shit
dwreck69 0
What happens in Akershus, stays in Akershus
Thunderbender 2
OP don't leave us with a cliffhanger like that I'm on the edge of my seat! DID THEY GET DIGESTED OR NOT!!!
theaws0m3guy 4
Did she have to PILLage the toilet?
ifailplzinsultme 0
51- I shower in poop...
ifailplzinsultme 0
Damn nobody else showers in poop?
grapisy 8
Well, were they?
JesusFishTaco 5
I wonder if she licked the poop like in Year One.
NastyNinja31 0
no she had to take them again
kmumma 3
did she use her hands
T0sta 8
would it taste good?
ColtsDoug18 0
chill you boner
howslife123 0
judging by your comment along with your picture, you really like sex..
SLC_grumpypants 5
Ha!! ummm.......gross
olpally 33
that is a shitty sit.. never-mind I know that comment is overused.. that's just f**king disgusting!! cover your ears then.. fyl op... :(
mynameisusername 4
Your cleverness has failed you and you successfuly pissed me off. :)
koe4 0
may i recomond u gat angor manugmant?
mynameisusername 4
I'm no grammar nazi but that was just wrong on so many levels.
olpally 33
then go **** yourself asshole and don't comment if u see the comment is buried you dumb ass...go rot in hell for all I care..
ifailplzinsultme 0
Keyboard warrior much?
partyfool2011 4
you should have just said the shitty pun. maybe you would have gotten less thumbs down.
ckr911 5
a look into the future...
omgcookeys 15
they could just drink a lot of milk.. of course, that could lead to bowel trouble
GreenMaze 0
WTF??
IndigoFuckYou 9
Well, where they?
mhayes119_fml 0
I do that every day to my girlfriend because she's a vaegetable!!
Random_Person88 8
i spent like 5 mins trying to come up with a response to this but i just couldn't.
Iwashere12345 0
cool story bro.
Meraklez1013 9
I love your picture lol!!