Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"
MissErikaHart 0
"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"
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Comments (129)
My_Deathbed 0
FAKE AND GAY!
ImaginaryFoe 1
What about the second time? The first time is forgiveable but if he can't go again and last longer, it's time for you two to work on that.
RedPillSucks 33
Exactly. But the second time should be within 10-20 minutes. I'm sure he'll get better with practice. Make sure you ween him off the cartoons though, otherwise he'll develop a fetish and get a hard-on everytime he sees daffy duck or porky pig.
Thekbking 11
its not a fetish not has anything to do with it. its a outside stimulus that triggers the arousal. its similar to the pavlovian dog experiment if u know what that is
megaanlovesmusic 1
that deff sucks ..
duhh10 0
haha FYL but sometimes we watch tv but we enjoy it enough not to get distracted from the fun :) and yet we can go as slow or fast as we want :)
burninfate 0
you are all ignorant, he is either getting excited to quickly, masturbated too much and rewired his muscle memory to do it fast, or he is nervous because op already sounds like a bitch and probably calls him out on it
mike3775 39
Yeah ok. I have always wanted to go longer than the GF's, wives wanted to. Once I start, I never want to stop. Only wanting to go for a minute is pathetic.
burninfate 0
no one said he "wanted" to only go for one minute he came i'n one, and as you can see there are three reasons why that can happen and the op not being supportive of that will make it so he won't want to again
Thekbking 11
thank u someone understands the psychology of this type of situation. seriously thank u. glad to see smart ppl are still out there rather than those who jump to dump him or hes not a real man bs.
Thekbking 11
ps on another note another reason could be that the guy got raped or molested and has a problem expressing himself in bed so it goes faster cuz of the traumatic experience
thatkoolcid 0
well if you guys ''practice'' more then maybe he'll last longer and you can forget the cartoons ! :D
bryan1992 0
what is he 6 years old lol?
Uscdrew1 7
Opera is a play where people sing instead of speak lines. It's also an Internet browser.
kemando 22
that spongebob's quite the character, eh?
rnbz 0
wow your boyfriend is a newb. 1 minute really? He must be like 5, and who the hell watches cartoons while they are *******?