Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
perdix 31
Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"
MissErikaHart 0
"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (129)
SadinSherman 16
That's is so creepy.
josh55 1
break up with the one pump chump every girl should get at least 10 min of pounding unless it's a quicky lol
GoColts8718 0
Well Minnie Mouse is pretty hot
josh55 1
maybe but he still shouldn't be a little one pump chump
dreamering 16
He could have been horror movie fan. Halloween is coming
duboss_fml 0
just hit me up when ur single haha but yeah this is funny
kportal69 5
time to find a new bf
BeNKiN 0
YTD for dating a 5 year old
Michael123087 0
they have lotions for this kinda thing. lol
MJFG100 0
are u dating a child?
docscientist 10
Children can't ejaculate.
salic77 11
yes, yes some can. at 6 I got erections and at 8 was mah first ejaculation. (was a disturbed child leave me be.)
BonJovi821 3
You realize that males start having erections in the mother's womb, right? There's no set age for them to start...
Bonzer 2
56- I can