Today, I found out that the only way to get my boyfriend to last more than one minute in the sack is to let him watch cartoons while we do it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend turned down sex so he could masturbate to his favourite Japanese cartoon porn. I was obviously horny but his compromise was to offer to watch it and masturbate together. I’m an adult damnit, I want sex, not pissing cartoons. FML
Today, I realized that the amount of time it takes my boyfriend to get an erection takes longer than the actual sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML
Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he likes me is because I let him watch porn without throwing a fuss. FML
Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"
MissErikaHart 0
"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"
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Comments (129)
EvilDoll 7
I could relate to that...
pcakewafflebacon 0
at least that means he isn't a furry. ew.
the_flirtt 0
what is he like 15 ??
the_flirtt 0
what is he like 15 ??
MissErikaHart 0
"I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy eddy!!!!"
ChubbyCake 5
37, do you mean is he like 8? OP maybe you two can role play a cartoon character.
EvilDoll 7
^ this is brilliant do it OP
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
that means he thinks ure really hot
untoward 0
#45 ftw
Sikk33 0
Why would you suggest role play as cartoon characters if he has a fetish with cartoons? this would only make his problem worse lol. OP, you both should meet in the middle here.. leave the tv on, but on mute, then put some music on.. maybe both of you would be happy then? or maybe just music videos..
MissErikaHart 0
beavis and butthead has animation AND music videos!
johnnyexpl0sion 0
erika is a problem solver! i'd love to bone a chick to beavis and butthead lol.
rubsin 15
sure u are ... lol
TwoFootedMan 0
Mickey and Minny.
drea527 0
i created an account just so i could say "LMFAO" @ your comment on the FML about the cartoons. +2 cool pts
FMLoverAgain 7
sik you're so very handsome. Can I have a kiss?:)
misstessaelice 5
that sucks.
WTSchool 0
In the sack? But that sucks. o.o
DJuan 0
that's great. at least there is a way to do it.
LightningLadyy 0
That's true, but I wouldn't use the word "great to describe it...
angeljewlz 7
Maybe you should try dressing up like one of the cartoon charcters he likes? O_o Lqtm Sorry OP just tryin to help...
wackywillie54 0
um.. don't hook up with a guy like that unless he's really nice
EngineerJane 0
Has to take his mind off your good looking body and amazing moves. So put up with the cartoons or change your ways.
FYLDeep 26
Speedy Gonzales, eh?
WhatANoob 0
WIN WIN WIN
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Heh, good one.
purplebunnyattac 0
HAHAHAHAHA win indeed :)
cole86 0
he must be a ninja. all i can say
perdix 31
Probably wouldn't last much more than a minute if he was watching Porky Pig, but at least he'd finish you off with "Th-th-th-th-th-that's all, folks!"
ifailplzinsultme 0
hahaha
jackirose 0
I don't really get your picture. :/
epicness151 0
^ like :D
UniqueWun 2
LMAO!