Today, my husband admitted he sometimes gets me ragingly jealous of other women on purpose because when I’m jealous I put in more effort in the bedroom and it’s easier to get me to do anal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned, "The bitch on the pot." FML
Today, my husband called me annoyingly needy for saying he never compliments me. I could be half-naked, shaking my ass on the internet, or cruising bars to get validation from strangers. God forbid a woman wants the one person she loves to pay her a crumb of attention. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
Today, I realized why my wife starts so many arguments lately. I vent by angry-cleaning. She pisses me off on purpose so she doesn't have to do any chores. FML
Today, my husband is furious because I accused him of being in love with my best friend. He talks about her constantly, perks up like a puppy when she comes over, and occasionally only gets erections if I talk about her. Even the kids have noticed how moonstruck he is. FML
Today, I realized why my husband had been seemingly wanting to improve our relationship by sending little texts throughout the day for the last couple of months, asking what I was doing. It was so he could find out when would be the best time to have his girlfriend over and cheat on me. FML
Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML
Today, and recently, I've been accused of being jealous whenever I point out that someone is taking advantage of my wife's kindness. I just want her to get the love and friendship she deserves, not these flighty balls of stress that then destabilize her moods. Self-care is sometimes being open to saying, "NO!" FML
Today, I thought I’d get revenge on my cheating husband by seducing the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never been attracted to women, I’ve inexplicably fallen head over heels in love with her. What now? FML
Today, my wife's friend's husband broke the unwritten "man rule" of not being TOO good of a husband. He turned over a new leaf and started really busting his ass, so his wife bragged on him to my wife, and now she's sulking and refusing sex. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ahabsfan 17
That’s what I’d call a backdoor approach to sex.
Morten Bork 6
it isn't a good sign when mind games are needed. rather than proper communication. if he likes anal. and you do too, make sure it's fun for both parties, so no " manipulative" behaviour is required. but this extends to all aspects of your relationship. if you have to "trick" your partner, and you both aren't dealing with autisme or the like, then that isn't really a great sign. open and honest communication is. mind you, not emotional communication. clam honest and open.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
ahabsfan 17
That’s what I’d call a backdoor approach to sex.
Morten Bork 6
it isn't a good sign when mind games are needed. rather than proper communication. if he likes anal. and you do too, make sure it's fun for both parties, so no " manipulative" behaviour is required. but this extends to all aspects of your relationship. if you have to "trick" your partner, and you both aren't dealing with autisme or the like, then that isn't really a great sign. open and honest communication is. mind you, not emotional communication. clam honest and open.