Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
Instead of saying something that could potentially turn into a huge fight, couldn't you just have said really loudly "I'm going to fall asleep on you babe, I'm sorry" to speak over top of her and then ended the call without allowing her the time to argue?
iwishlifewasfair 8
How to get a girl to stop talking to you 101
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Comments (84)
balake_fml 8
You feel like an asshole because you are an asshole
EarlFug 19
So you started a fight and burned a bridge when you could've just said "I'm sleepy" Um, people skills dude.
Sheh_fml 25
If you really cared so little for her, you could just have hung up without being (as much of) a dick.
knightmareengage 16
Dude just turn off your computer and text her that the Internet is acting up, but you'll talk to her tomorrow. Seriously who wouldn't believe the Internet is at fault?
Roxas_hearts 27
Yeah, texting her right after would totally make it believable.
Fmlsea 28
actually it would be believe since texting is not using the internet ! it use mobile data instead!
sarcasmwins 24
That's a dick move
undersea 1
its ok, we've all done it
slyde32 12
no we haven't
SPN_lover666 27
Really? I have never been tired enough to call anyone a ****. See, I am the type of person who tells other people that I am tired and will talk to them in the morning. If they still insist on talking to me, I put my phone on mute and go to sleep
ShyVi 18
No, I'm not an asshole. Even when I do something asshole like, it's not that horrible.
Jiigaaboo 12
Well you don't have a girlfriend now so that's a win for your sleep.
Tyrez 32
Maybe you feel like an asshole because you are one.
LilyTdawg 7
Why couldn't you just say something like "Babe, your voice is so soothing; don't be surprised if it puts me right to sleep?" And you're probably not a complete asshole. We all have our moments and at least you know that it was wrong.
Mustardtiger811 12
could have told her you wanted to go to sleep or pretended the call dropped