Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting out, "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, I told my wife I had a huge Zoom interview and could not be disturbed under any circumstances. Nevertheless, she called her mom, got into a screaming argument the interviewer could clearly hear, then came into my office to cry on my shoulder. She doesn't understand why I'm furious with her. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML
Today, I summoned the courage to call my abusive mother-in-law about her non-payment of the money I stupidly lent her last year. She replied, "Why don't you go deepthroat a cactus, then we'll talk about it, cunt." and then hung up on me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
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Top comments
cutycat136 28
Instead of saying something that could potentially turn into a huge fight, couldn't you just have said really loudly "I'm going to fall asleep on you babe, I'm sorry" to speak over top of her and then ended the call without allowing her the time to argue?
iwishlifewasfair 8
How to get a girl to stop talking to you 101
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Comments (84)
ShyVi 18
I would have just fallen asleep right then and there.
cherokeecutie 13
You could have said that you apologize but you really just need to go to bed and if she still won't stop talking, just mute the sound, say "I love you" and "goodnight", over text, and fall asleep
MrBlackledge 12
There is a reason you feel like an arsehole. But don't ask me... I have no idea what it is
DragonFire13 2
Maybe next time you should man the **** up and tell her that while you enjoy talking to her,you're exhausted and you need some sleep. You know, like any reasonable person would do.
TomeDr 25
YDI. What a horrible thing to say about ANYONE, much less your girlfriend's mom!
alisha0215 12
Lmao..that is too funny. You have to keep the relationship exciting. Just explain when you talk to her.
NodakN8V 25
Welcome to the Asshole club
ohhmyrahhh 7
?? ha
ally8 21
Could've just said goodnight and ended the Skype session....
Darkness_Hate 29
"Honey i'm sorry but i really need to get some sleep, talk to you later" .... It's not that hard.
Fmlsea 28
you could of just said " hun im really tired and need sleep im going to bed " instead of calling her mum a ****. now you will be lucky to have a gf at all.