Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML
Today, I got home to find my house trashed, my TV, PlayStation, and laptop smashed, all my clothes burning in the backyard, and all my food gone. Turns out my girlfriend did this after going through my phone and finding a contact named "Kristi". Kristi is my sister. FML
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Top comments
orphanclubber 8
That must've been a little awkward... hope you broke up with her OP
MDoremis 38
I hope you kick that kleptomaniac to the curb.
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Comments (87)
orphanclubber 8
That must've been a little awkward... hope you broke up with her OP
incoherentrmblr 22
...after getting your things back...
Ilikepie82479 20
I could have sworn it said grandma.... When I saw your comment it confused me so much
SarahSehhati 40
#62 I did too.... that's weird...
telli164 30
#62 I read it as grandma also. If only, what a bad ass grandma she'd have been..
elvispaada 11
#62 Hahahaa I read it as grandma the whole time too. It didn't make sense to me until I read it again.
HRTreatman 17
@62 I swear it said grandma...
EverestMelting 23
Oh harsh, get out of that quick OP.
MDoremis 38
I hope you kick that kleptomaniac to the curb.
wobbly1 16
I use to be a kleptomaniac, but I took something for it.
Darkness_Hate 29
Either she's kleptomaniac or she's using you.
cocacola999 27
I'm wondering if she actually stole the things before they started going out, if the stuff was stolen last year and OP only visited her apartment now for the first time. Normally, people visit each other's places earlier than 1 year into the relationship. In that case, she could also be a stalker.
xxmirandapandaxx 14
Where did you read last year? Just curious.
antonaijamese 7
#50 He said they were stolen last week....
cocacola999 27
Oh dear. Back to the primary school for me.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Time to steal it hack
HarshD9619 34
It's not stealing if it's yours
ligerzero459 24
I think you mean ex-girlfriend
FracturedMinds 21
Normally I'd tear this comment a new asshole because it's so over used. In this instance, I completely agree with it. Kick her klepto ass to the curb.
ligerzero459 24
I only make it when it's actually deserved
Scryll 17
Steal it back, you can be kleptomaniacs together :D
Scryll 17
Obviously I missed what the above comment said
Kazze 31
Yeahhh... I would take the laptop and run. Before you know it, you might come home from work to an empty house.
AhoyCaptian 16
Oh wow, that sucks, sorry OP. She must not be a good girlfriend if she stole things from you. I bet it was very awkward, but I hope you got your things back, along with a new girlfriend.
whycantisignup 24
I guess the honesty application isn't compatible with her OS