Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML
Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML
Today, I got home and found all my things thrown out into the yard, including the stuff from my mancave, which I spent thousands of dollars on. Apparently, my girlfriend stopped for a visit while my wife was home. I’d stupidly given her a key. Turns out my wife called out sick today. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. I recognized him. He's the guy that broke into my car and stole my backpack two weeks ago. FML
Today, I returned from a week-long vacation. My landlord told me he had let my boyfriend in my apartment to get something. I don't have a boyfriend. Everything in my apartment is gone. FML
Today, I was playfully walking back to my car with my girlfriend. My door was unlocked. I then noticed my car had stuff scattered inside. A bum had just robbed and ransacked my car. FML
Today, I walked into pawn shop and found a nice laptop which I inspected after I thought I lost mine months ago. Turns out my ex pawned it after having it at her place all this time. FML
Today, I got home to find my house trashed, my TV, PlayStation, and laptop smashed, all my clothes burning in the backyard, and all my food gone. Turns out my girlfriend did this after going through my phone and finding a contact named "Kristi". Kristi is my sister. FML
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Top comments
orphanclubber 8
That must've been a little awkward... hope you broke up with her OP
MDoremis 38
I hope you kick that kleptomaniac to the curb.
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Comments (87)
dc2fresh 15
follow up
wakemeupplease 21
Dafq I just read?!!! o.O
lovethatstach 18
get your stuff back, and RUNNNN! only more trouble can come from this.
Delsanity 13
Sucks when you get stuff you worked hard to get stolen. Hope you find all your stolen stuff.
alex_jaguara 33
She might be a girl but definitely not a friend.
WhatHappenedToIt 22
Run....
fmlrulesBolt 14
That bitch
more4me 27
For fck sakes! I will never understand people who do stuff like that. 1) " steal" everything back. 2) Dump her lousy ass. 3) tell her you're calling the police if she so much as get within 50 feet of you ever again. 4) Change your locks. 5) Delete her off any social networks . Hope you had a police report for the thefts and hopefully you took a photo of your stuff on her couch as well. ugh ! Poor OP, that sucks big time !!!
ThatHorse 15
Wow all these people on the steal it back train. How do you know the thief didn't pawn it and then she bought it thinking it was for sale?
Allie_Wieneke 2
Mmmkay. Yeah. If OP lived in a romantic comedy, that might be feasible, but he probably does not live in a romantic comedy. Therefore, his girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend) is a kleptomaniac bitch.
Etweens96 25
Get rid of that klepto