Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
This is why I'm a dog person. A dog would at least pretend to feel bad
Tripartita 45
My condolences. Here you were expecting a cat burglar, and fate went heavier on the "cat" than the "burglar".
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Comments (41)
Juzz_dk 11
The "You deserved it" button is missing...
MidnaLink 35
Because in this case, no-one deserved it.
domolovesyoshi 33
Tell me, exactly how did theOP deserve this?
LyricaSilvan 30
Cats are bizarre animals. I'm not sure we will ever fully understand them.
trucker2 33
Bad kitty... No cat nip for you... I've been told cats can become extremely jealous over shadows seen on tv screen- I recommend hanging it on the wall..
RichardPencil 32
The cat cares. She's smugly gloating, "No more of that Real Housewives of ... bullshit my master is obsessed with! Catfights are only for actual cats!"
katydid91 31
I don't think they have the real Real Housewives shows in Australia. They probably have something similar.
Joker513 7
take the shot
qteabutt 12
Cats are just cute lovable assholes. For next time might I recommend securing anything valuable down, that way neither a cat or a burglar can take it down.
Armeniangirl_fml 15
cats are assholes. hope you get a new tv!
Yudith_fml 11
Congratulation on resisting the urge to stab your cat with your hunting knife. You didn't stab your cat with your hunting knife, did you? Right?
gage54 9
That is one of the most Australian things I've ever read
Moerighan 23
Cats are the spawn of satan so I'm not surprised.