Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I was stepping out of the shower while home alone. I heard voices coming from the living room. I grabbed a bat to defend myself and ran into the living room. I slipped on my tile floor and smashed my TV with the bat. No one was in my house, but I'd left the radio on. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was laying with my cat when someone set off a firework next to my window. Now I have stitches and a bed covered in blood. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
This is why I'm a dog person. A dog would at least pretend to feel bad
Tripartita 45
My condolences. Here you were expecting a cat burglar, and fate went heavier on the "cat" than the "burglar".
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Comments (41)
sarcasmismyno1 22
Cats are assholes. Sorry about your TV
nevereyes 31
This is why you reinforce the base. One of my Bengal cats loves to jump on the tv and he's never managed to nock it over
themanontheedge 13
You got your knife and a free meal at a Korean restaurant
Biker187 13
This is why you don't let cats live inside, better yet no pets - dogs, cats, any 3 or 4 leg critter, birds & no fish. I don't understand how people get attached to pets. I don't even under the reason for having a fish tank. Yes, I am that type of person., others can have them not me. No feelings for animals going on 8 yrs. since my motorcycle accident.
xBassman2000x 4
I would've skinned that cat alive. JK, I love cats
Elgrin 15
Sounds like someone is in the doghouse. ...I'll show myself out now.
RhondaYolonda 4
That is something my cat would do and maybe is planning..She loves to lay in front of it when it's on or off. Now I'm paranoid and want to attach it to the wall. My husband will slice her if she breaks it..