Today, after moving into my new house, I woke up to strange sounds coming from the kitchen. I panicked and started sobbing, convinced it was either a robbery or a home invasion. Turned out it was just my cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, I kept hearing big *THUD* sounds across the house. The first few times, I didn't think anything of it. But after several more times, I started to suspect there was an intruder. After sneaking through the house, ready to knock out whomever was there, I found out it was my cat pushing things off the table. FML
Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML
Today, I took a late-night shower. When I got out afterwards, the bathroom door was ajar, and I could have sworn I heard the faint patter of footsteps in the kitchen. "It's probably the cat," I told myself. Then I went upstairs and saw my cat asleep on my bed. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, at 2 a.m. I heard a noise coming from the living room. I thought somebody must be breaking in, so I had to save my cats. When I opened the door, all I could see was the only plant I owned, all over the room. The cats just greeted me with a friendly purr, like they were happy I was joining them in their sandbox. FML
Today, I jumped when, after being home alone for days, I suddenly saw the door handle move. Apparently, the cats weren't happy about being locked out of the kitchen and were pretty close to figuring things out. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
He was really trying out his dream job of becoming a cat burglar. It's all part of the master plan.
BBeffedmylife 28
Don't feel bad OP! I'm convinced my cat is a robber or ghost sometimes!
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Comments (46)
lisbethcc 15
Lol xD
BBeffedmylife 28
Don't feel bad OP! I'm convinced my cat is a robber or ghost sometimes!
Welshite 40
He was really trying out his dream job of becoming a cat burglar. It's all part of the master plan.
chocolatefrog28 29
If you're that nervous, invest in an alarm system for the house and sleep with a loaded baseball bat by your bed. You'll get used to the new environment (and your cat will stop being a troll?) eventually and being extra careful isn't a bad thing. Congrats on the new place!
Liamj774 36
Loaded baseball bat?
itsalanis 25
I load my baseball bat with bullets. ...Isn't that how it works? :
Rayth 19
If the OP gets an alarm system don't they run the risk of the cat accidently setting off the alarm?
ilikepie612 3
wouldn't consider it an fml! more like you're lucky! it could of actually been a robber but I'm glad you're safe OP :)
SuperWhoMarvLock 22
Shouldn't you be used to that...? :/ Well, I guess it was a new house so that would be a bit scary. At least now you know for next time that it could just be your cat. :)
LebanonBaby 26
Or it could also be an actual burglar! Either way next time OP probably wont sob or freak out :) well, hopefully. :)
triplebeerox 27
Well, at least you didn't call 911 to report a robbery. It would've been embarrassing to try to explain to the officers that the noise you were reporting was actually your cat.
ihaveasushicat 24
Kitty was robbing the place for food. :3
drunkmunkey 24
can't forget kitty... seriously though, if you are afraid of that happening you might want to sleep with a bat or pistol near your bed
juturnaamo 29
OP has some serious anxiety issues. A pistol seems like a bad idea.
DogeMan 14
My cat sometimes makes things fall and it wakes me up