Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I'm afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML
Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML
Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML
Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
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Top comments
bummerbums 16
Next time, try to get a good identifier for your luggage. Like a ribbon or something. That other person probably really wanted their stuff.
iLike2Teabag 27
That is some weird shit to be traveling with.
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Comments (87)
pinkyponky 2
put it to some good use!
keeks46 12
OP, WTF?
Fas4wd 13
Wassamatta with ya!! Just go get your stuff back. Wash your hands first though!
kl08 12
the actual owner sounds fun. learn to live free OP!
graceinsheepwear 34
The false beard could be a merkin. I wouldn't try holding it up to your face for effect...
byefelicia1992 8
YDI for being unobservant.
Crazynocatlady 22
Give them everything back, minus the anal beads. Oh. And the fake beard...
KingLewisII 34
Keep the beads get rid of the litter? Thinking like that is why your cats ran away.
CupOfCoffee 14
Ha, this would be funny if the owner did it on purpose. Otherwise, yeah, that is kind of freaky.
brandoneyez1 25
Take it back to the airport. They can contact that owner.
bjg1009 3
First of all I have NEVER been dumb enough not to check my luggage tag before leaving the airport. Secondly one would think you would notice a difference in weight between your baggage and the one you grabbed. Thirdly you don't need to contact the owner just take it back to the airport and let them deal with it. YDI!