Today, I retrieved the wrong luggage from an airport carousel. I'm now the owner of two water-bras, a false beard, a bag of cat litter, and some anal beads. I'm afraid to get in touch with the original owner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML
Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML
Today, I picked up my laundry from the wash-and-fold and proceeded to put everything away. I noticed a hand towel that wasn't mine and made a mental note to return it; turned out they'd given me someone else's boxers as well. My boyfriend doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I fell asleep with my luggage at a bus terminal. Upon waking up, I found that someone had opened my bags and stolen all my socks. FML
Today, I bought a tail for my girlfriend to dress as a cat at a hen party. She put the box in her suitcase, then left to catch her plane. I checked my purchase history and realised it's a cat tail butt plug. Now she keeps ringing me, but I'm too chicken to answer the phone. FML
Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML
Today, I had sex with my fiancée. My panties fell behind the bed. Later, when I went to get them, I found three other pairs. Only one pair was mine. FML
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
Today, I grabbed the nearest plastic bag in my bedroom when my boyfriend and I left for Walmart so I could return a pair of shorts. When the cashier dumped the contents of the bag onto the counter at customer service, my shorts and a used condom fell out. It was the longest return of my life. FML
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Top comments
bummerbums 16
Next time, try to get a good identifier for your luggage. Like a ribbon or something. That other person probably really wanted their stuff.
iLike2Teabag 27
That is some weird shit to be traveling with.
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Comments (87)
DaLiquer 20
Just do it! You never know, you might have more in common than you think.
91hayek 31
If you meet a guy named Tyler Durden let us know.He's the guy who makes soap and works nights as a projectionist. Also he's ******* Marla.
KingLewisII 34
What is the first rule of Project Mayhem?
KayZeep 3
And the other guy has your boring stuff. I'm sure he feels you won that round.
buckdharma 38
Get a cat, and a girl that's flat and into that. Oh, and a top hat. Your next costume party I was thinkin', maybe you could go as Lincoln.
ItsJustMe1616 26
Id be worried to put that beard on my face... Even after washing it 100 times lol
pangalactic 2
The beads you'd be cool with?
xx000o 27
Think positive, this could be the start of a whole new life for you.
liuliuliu 10
It is belongs to me .call me please
avapaige1234 19
I hope you tried to find the owner. Those "stuff" might be really important to them.
pdp_fml 21
F your life Op. I know that this is a stupid question, but what is a water bra?
ksks1234 33
It is a bra that has water (or more likely gel) in the cups. They make the wearer look bigger and feel more natural (obviously as long as the bra doesn't come off). P.S. They have a tendency to make you (me at least) subconsciously play with your bra.
Enslaved 38
Hope you weren't on your way to "Meet the Parents" with that mixed up suitcase?
schhichick 14
Don't violate the circle of trust!
stoych 19
I always put a coloured ribbon around my luggage so I know which is mine. Of course it's still always the last one off the plane!