Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
mylonius 19
Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?
almost_there44 26
Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.
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Comments (122)
vogonpoet 5
Wow. What a jerk way of avoiding admitting that he has a small penis.
finchy420 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
All these women assuming he has a small penis. What if her ****** is like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?
demonlady666 5
You actually want a "loose" ******. An open ****** means that the person is aroused. If the ****** is "tight" it means that the person isn't aroused enough and needs more (you can try more foreplay, toys, something different, etc.). Penis size may be factor, but "it's not about size, it's what you do with it." The issue is that he keeps slipping out. It maybe due to his size, but maybe due to his performance. He may be nervous or doesn't exactly know what to do.
Tripartita 45
Of the 14 comments that preceded yours, about FIVE mentioned penis size, and the only one of these posters to specify gender was… male. But, sure, "all these women". Why not? Regardless of actual penis size or vaginal constriction, it was a douchey, useless thing for him to say when he could just switch positions. It's hardly like she can swap out her ****** for a different one.
Tripartita 45
I can't tell if you've ruined Thanksgiving for me or made it ten times better…
sweetpotato301 7
Sex doesn't make a ****** loose.
ahuicnav 9
That's not what this means... when a woman is aroused, the muscles relax thus making the ****** 'loose'. if she isn't aroused at all, then the ****** would be 'tight'
Bearsmomma 30
It's possible she's TOO aroused. Not only would her ****** be more "open" in order to accommodate his penis, but she may be too slippery for him to manage staying in. If he has any skill that wouldn't be an issue, but all combined he could slip out more easily.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Grippy, really? If you have a "grippy" ******, I think there's a problem. Either with the sex because you're probably not aroused enough, or there's a serious issue with the ****** itself and you should be checked out by a doctor.
Flyndaran 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow. A guy dares to express frustration, so we all need to insult, dump, or make childish dick size comments? I guess this means men should NEVER be honest when talking sex. Good lesson commenters.
9a_z1 11
Nice way of ignoring the fact that he aired his frustration by insulting her ****** like a little baby.
2simz 25
He didn't need to blame the problem on her. It obviously wasn't her fault
InfiniteSunshine 32
No, people are not saying these things because he was honest. They're saying them because the guy was being an asshole and putting the whole blame on the girl, so they're essentially just turning it around on him. "Oh, she doesn't have a "grippy" enough ******, well maybe your dick is just small." You want to express frustration with sex and communicate, good, I support that fully, but good communication does not start with blaming the other person, it starts with open dialogue and a discussion about how to improve.
mfmylifesrsly 30
@52 just because there's worse ways he could have insulted her, doesn't make what he said okay. I've actually been with a few men who were too small to please me and I NEVER blamed them, didn't even mention their size, we worked on ways to make it better.
9a_z1 11
Whoops accidental post
sweetpotato301 7
Doesn't really work like that though because a penis can be really small but sex doesn't make a ****** 'loose'. That's a common myth.
Muerteds 18
His Real Doll came with extra-grippy features, why don't you?
chewsef 17
Slippery situation.
arano 29
Poor guy doesn't realize his own size yet.
EvilLittleMan 23
Sucks for him to have Pencil Dick Syndrome.
dunicha 20
Is he unfamiliar with the concept of lubrication? It's not exactly compatible with being "grippy". And I don't think sex would be very enjoyable for either of you without lubrication.....
MrsHumanFrog 19
in other words "damn babe, sorry I'm so small or don't know what I'm doing to keep the angle right..... I'm embarrassed to be this bad at it, so I'm gonna blame you!" seriously, no matter what size, the angle matters. vaginas aren't Supposed to be grippy.