Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
mylonius 19
Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?
almost_there44 26
Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.
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Comments (122)
AggieMike77 12
Your boyfriend has tiny dick syndrome!
Witchylady 18
Maybe it's because he is so small and prefers to blame you for it
8djht8 19
maybe he has a small dick
HyperTek 16
Tiny dick problems
nonamebranding 12
Does he even know what he's doing?? I've never had a guy slip out and I'm certainly no where near being virgin material. When I picture this I imagine he must have a 2 incher and any time he takes a thrust he runs the risk of pulling it out unintentionally. Or he doesn't know how to use it..
wondermoose 28
Maybe he's never had a real ****** before that gets slippery when more aroused? Idk I'm trying to think beyond the dick jokes
pantsmaster 6
Wow...this place has turned into tumblr.
satandabs 10
I'm sorry but all of you saying trying to say that vaginas widen when you're aroused, making it sound like a gaping hole. That's why we have exercises for our flowers below. Also, having constant sex every single day or just excessive will give you a wide set ******. So watch out & keep your legs closed. That's why masturbation is just so damn healthy for ya. Tighten up women & Men also, small dick? They've got pills & pumps for that or figure out how to use your penis. Simple.
DrumrollPlease 9
The exercises are designed (or were originally developed) for women who have had children or surgery on their nethers, as a rule. And no, frequent sex will NOT make you 'loose', that's an urban myth and one people REALLY need to stop proliferating!
sweetpotato301 7
Frequent sex does not give you a 'wide set ******'. The ****** is a passageway of muscles. If anything, using it more often will 'tighten' it. It can go back to its regular size after pushing out an 8lb baby. A penis does not make a difference. Please read up on female anatomy.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Oh my god this myth needs to die. Also, someone needs more or better sex ed. No, lots of sex does not give you a "loose" or "wide set" ******." A ****** get "looser" during arousal due to mostly lubrication and a little to accommodate room for a penis, but it ALWAYS goes back to it's original state, about the size of a quarter. The ****** is a muscle, just like any other muscle, they stretch and go back to normal. Look at it this way, your mouth is made with the same muscles as your ******. Now when you smile and stretch your mouth real wide, does it stay stretched out so you always have this foolish look on your face, or does it go back to normal as soon as you stop using those muscles? It goes back to normal doesn't it? Well so does the ******.
satandabs 10
You guys cannot take a joke.
InfiniteSunshine 32
You were clearly not joking, don't try and pull that.
vikky538 29
Try a new position problem solved!
tiredofwaiting 25
He must have a pencil dick.