Today, my boyfriend told me that I don't have a "grippy vagina" after he slipped out for the third time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML
Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was moving his hand from his thigh to my chest but on the way he sort of squeezed my stomach. When I asked him why he did that, he told me that "his fingers got stuck under my roll." FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
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Top comments
mylonius 19
Was he expecting a hand to appear down there?
almost_there44 26
Tell your boyfriend that he has a very small dick after he slips out for the fourth time.
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Comments (122)
Straya_chick 8
Anyone saying this guy has a small penis obviously doesnt know that even guys with big dicks can fall out. Try a different position and if he still slips out then he just sucks at sex.
Straya_chick 8
Anyone who actually thinks its because of a small dick, (yes i get the whole, "my fault? well maybe its your fault!" thing) doesnt know that even guys with big dicks can fall out. Maybe try a different position for a better angle, and if he still slips out, maybe he just sucks at it.
BrotherPhil 35
We're not offering it as a sensible suggestion; we're just turning the insult back on him.
lkb307 21
tell him to stick it back in and take shorter strokes. it's not as long as he thinks
tracyswingkid 8
Tiny dicks always slip out. He is passing his insecurities on to you. Move on.
grtfuldeadlovr 27
Flesh lights ruining it for the rest of us.
Talented73 54
Microphallus!
dansco 25
Tiny penis alert!!!
Jezterking 15
Motion of the ocean... It's not the size that matters but how you use it... Blah blah blah. Know what you have. don't back out with a 7" stride if you're only working with 5"s
theonecasey 27
If it makes you feel better my ex used to call me ****** lips of steal because one time the condom fell off inside and then broke another time. He always fell out. Anyways sorry OP!
captainsmegma 12
Might I suggest honey as your new lubricant?
Beeboopbeep 9
He's used to grippu sex because of how often he masturbates