Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
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Top comments
21jason 9
Get any good tips?
mollysticks 10
I wouldn't be able to look at her the same way ever again...
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Comments (96)
escobar0789 0
dayum was the 2 hour ride like old people **** lol
noisebox 1
Well I guess you learned your father in law is a back door man???? I would have said" okay that's enough when I want to be grossed out I'll ask you"....
dsl1123 8
If I were in your shoes I would try to jump out of the car and take my chances with the pavement.
kimg0885 23
I just barfed a little. Sorry
bubo_fml 11
You blew (pun semi-intended) a prime opportunity to **** w/ your in-law..."Oh, he isn't happy til the dil goes 'round his inside bend...He wants to visit a pet store & incorporate domestic rodents into our sex play..." That sort of thing...
krzkidd 4
you should invest in some headphones
Marissa1586 18
Oh boy
Marissa1586 18
Say your in the middle of a really good book, and if she still tried to talk, talk about the book instead
jwadd100 5
50 shades of pain
kittykat1501 31
Discuss*