Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what possessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to discuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
Today, I was driving my drunk mother home when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend, so I asked her to answer the call. My mother then questioned him on our sex life and was especially interested to know if we'd used handcuffs because I "like them." I have no recollection of ever telling her this. FML
Today, my husband and I got back from our honeymoon and we saw his mom's car in front of our house. When we walked in she asked us so many questions about our trip. The first question she asked my husband was, "Were you satisfied with her in bed?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
Today, while driving with my step mother, she attempted to have phone sex with my dad. FML
Today, my dad gave me the dreaded sex talk, but he got sidetracked and started talking about how good my mum was in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house, and her dad saw us. She decided that she didn't feel like riding along when it was time for her dad to drive me home, and went to bed. I, on the other hand, got to have a 15-minute conversation about the merits of "physical boundaries." FML
Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
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Top comments
21jason 9
Get any good tips?
mollysticks 10
I wouldn't be able to look at her the same way ever again...
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Comments (96)
mollysticks 10
I wouldn't be able to look at her the same way ever again...
MichellinMan 20
I probably wouldn't.
leprechaun23 15
At least you werent eating
GirlOnFire143 6
-Throws up-
xoconnie 8
Dude, i hope you just told her you didnt want to hear about that crap! or at least attempted to change the subject? either way, FYL.
mollysticks 10
Yeah exactly, how can you listen to that for 2 hours?
untamed112 0
Lol
chase101 1
Yes.... This happen to me I couldn't look at my in laws the same way
21jason 9
Get any good tips?
zachherbert 10
"Well you see, if she puts her legs like this, and you...."
21jason 9
I'm Gunna have to try that
Rowdey 10
"And you...." WHAT?!
KBeatz 5
Well I hope the mother wasn't driving while showing techniques!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Not if he's circumcised.
ReesieBanana21 12
Yikes! *shutters*
streetllama 4
Lol she teach you anything?
enchi999 8
I think it would b too awkward for OP to make any notes.
Calyx_fml 22
Then when you try it on your husband you can say "Your Mom taught me this". He'll like that. ;^)
KBeatz 5
This is when the ability to enter a self induced trance is beneficial.
eeppiicc 8
Jump out of the car pains only temporary. What you heard you may never forget
kamikrazy 6
Pains only temporary. Becoming crippled isn't.
COOL__Coal 12
It would be a lot more awkward if she was talking to your husband about this. But still FYL
olpally 33
An iPod would come in handy right about now.
Pentium_4 27
so would a narcolepsy sleep attack
olpally 33
Lol... True that!
nofearjenshere 12
^^ unless she's was driving. lol
shoopd 19
^^ It would still be better than the conversation...
xqtmvzwr 1
That's a straight shooter right there, amirite.net ?
Rowdey 10
No, yourewrong.gov
auzz1_pride 9
35) I have without a doubt it's that squid face guy, back to reek havoc on FML :(
Meowingtons500 18
Throw yourself from the automobile! Or endure the graphic details and get one of those Men in Black memory erasers.
Meowingtons500 18
**should have thrown
MaryPoppins88 14
That's so awkward my boyfriends mom is like that too