Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend of 2 weeks home to meet my mom and she started talking about how she really wants a lot of grand-kids. He called 2 hours later and broke up with me. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
Today, I visited my in-laws, whom I thought I was on great terms with. I soon learned that wasn't the case when my mother-in-law yelled at me about how I've been abusing her for years. Ten minutes later, she hugged me and asked me for grandkids. FML
Today, I tried to have a conversation with my mom. As usual, it turned into an hour long gush about how much she loves her grandkids. When I said, “You know you have children as well, right?” She goes, "Yeah but I only had them to have grandchildren for me!” FML
Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML
Today, I was doing a family genealogy project. I accidentally discovered that my grandfather couldn't possibly be my mom’s biological father. When I started asking questions, my mom flipped shit, confronted her mom, and the whole mess came out. Now everyone is pissed at me. FML
Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML
Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
I think that's a sign to do him right there on the table. At least that's the signal that your Mom is getting across
crimsonlover4 31
Your project's history now OP. FYL
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Comments (81)
SuperPizzaMan_fml 11
That sounds like a typical parent, not so much an FML.
Cainicide 5
Well, at least he knows. For future reference.
hihome 7
Four future reference :)
hihome 7
Hey guys, I apologize if anybody thinks my comment was offensive in any way. I'm really sorry guys.
deathy94 14
It's not offensive. Just a lame joke, that's all.
Posthuman 26
He knows for scientific purposes later.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
I see you're new here. The number one rule of FML is that if the comment isn't funny, says something negative towards a popular FML-er, or completely misinterprets the FML, you're gonna get thumbed down. And 9 times out of 10, if you post another comment trying to save face, it's gonna get thumbed down twice as much. Don't take it to heart, though- The best of us get thumbed down. Except the mods, because they won't let us. Doesn't stop me. Any comment I see from Alan, I get a sharpie and draw a thumbs down beside it, just to prove a point.
Cainicide 5
Top comment because the other one got deleted. I feel special.
bluevayero 42
and thats how i will prevent my daughter from having sex!!
crimsonlover4 31
Your project's history now OP. FYL
Pleonasm 36
Yea, now they're onto chemical bonding. Or maybe they're studying on how to make a haploid cell turn into a diploid cell.
patrickalamo 48
Anatomy by Braille perhaps.
xblair 11
Overly attached Mom?
ryry013 6
I'd like to delete this comment. But I can't. I wish to save FML from the ugliness of its past state. :(
ICastillo 25
Well OP you better make her four god damn grand children.
LolPieRofl 11
I had to thumb it up to keep it from being 69
ukrainianitalian 2
Lock and load!
Pleonasm 36
I think that's a sign to do him right there on the table. At least that's the signal that your Mom is getting across
lilhellian 27
Something tells me she would stay and watch, maybe correct him.
mclauren29 22
That's not really a normal reaction, is it? I thought most mothers would be against their kids having a sex life with some person she has never met. That's awkward. FYL.
spaboolly 26
Apparently in this case, the wanna-be grandma's wishes are more powerful than common sense or regard for her daughter's own life decisions. Let's hope she was just trying to scare the guy off, and she's not actually that crazy. (Trying to maintain some faith in humanity)
echosaints 5
Idk, It sounds like she was trying to scare him off. If someone asked me to give them "exactly" 4 grandchildren I would be gone. Ops mother is genius!
ocramavaf 15
you'd better not disappoint her or else she could go poking holes in your condoms
Cainicide 5
This wasn't a very well-thought-out response.
ocramavaf 15
it was a joke... I'll crawl back in my hole now...
MatteKudasai 17
Don't do that! 8 is just humourless.
BulldogHoops 14
No need to worry, those of us with a sense of humor would like you to stay out of your hole. This was a solid comment!
ALlamaOnFire 20
Exactly four? I was always wanted 3 and a half...
SUPA_TOLL_CAL 6
how can people vote YDI on this?
laurenlovesjb 20
I know. I hate how some people vote YDI on things where people clearly don't deserve it. It's like they think it's funny, but it's not.
Dixbfloppin 11
It's probably (and hopefully) on accident by those who are on the app. I almost hit YDI myself, glad I didn't.
FML_Whale 18
I've made accidental button hits, but normally, it's trolls.
MikeFoxtrot01594 11
On PC, you can quickly quick "I agree, your life sucks" multiple times quickly, giving multiple votes. The problem is that when it registers, "YDI" shifts over to the left, often getting clicked.
AussieChild 22
Exactly 4 children?? Not 3 3/4 children? Or 4 1/2 children?
cmtxbe 6
Shut up.
Meettitan 14
....Or.... 1..... or.... 2....? I don't know if the mother wants bodyparts strewn across the room.
gc327072 31
56- AC was making a joke about how lots of times national averages of children per capita will be non-integers, making for humorous conjectures like "~2.5 children? How does one have half a child?~" Or are you being sarcastic too.....