Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Smart kid. She seems like the responsible sort.
flockz 20
scotch tape isn't safe enough. as her mother i hope you suggested duct tape.
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Comments (203)
olpally 33
Peter to Meg, *holds up trash bag* hefty hefty hefty! *holds up condom in other hand* wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!
Vivasarous 4
I was just thinking about this!
NeonCookies89 13
Youve taught her Well.. -.-
RemyX1 7
Wow this couple takes thier protection seriuosly. Would you rater have them be a couple who does sex without protection.
superpoptart 24
I'd rather 11 year olds not have sex.
Catkam623 27
*kiss protection
NoDontKillMe 19
*their *seriously *rather
deadhead419 15
You do sex?
BradTheBrony 19
Well, I was gonna make a remark on the phrasing "to do sex" but someone beat me to it. And they were downvoted. Why? You don't do sex, you HAVE it.
kriz_allizwell 6
Okay this one actually made me laugh out loud.
Blackcatluck 19
Nice to know, if only we cared.
Trisha_aus 15
Hmm..who shit in your cereal this morning black cat?
RedPillSucks 33
well, at least the comment wasn't "LOL!!!"
Blackcatluck 19
I'm a Blackcat the shitty luck I have to deal with everyday is enormous you should expect me to be grumpy >:(
azk3000 9
89 your profile description is great
Tiger9099 11
113 that is what grumpy cat is for.
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
At least she knows protection is important. Even if was on the lips.
Black_Cat_13 7
Looks like someone needs to give her kid the sex talk, considering the girl is 11 and most girls are hitting puberty or getting curious by then. At least explain to her that there's nothing wrong with having a boyfriend or kissing.
bethybooditom 9
How old was the "not your boyfriend" that'll decide if this is sick, cute or just plain weird.
EVnIAS 13
it was the local priest... I know I know I am probably going to hell for that...
beastseclipse 9
After thousands of years in Hell, you'll still be going "totally worth it!"
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Considering that the boy is at the age where the mother would have to question if he is her boyfriend or not, there is a good chance he is somewhere in the 10-13 age range.
NewYorkMexPR 14
Lol well at least shes thinking safe. Well done parent
PoisonedLiquor 17
Found this really cute rather than a FML.
CheeseHater 23
This was the cutest thing in the history of FML. But why do you think that this is awkward or anything, OP? I think it sounds awesome.