Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter making out with a piece of paper with someone from the cast of IT taped to her pillow. FML
Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML
Today, my daughter and I went to the mall. While we were looking for clothes, she walked away from me and touched a man on the arm and smiled and said "Hi!" The man freaked out and screamed at me for letting that "thing" in public and to "wear a condom next time." FML
Today, my 17-year-old daughter's friend told her that superglue works well as lip gloss. She tried it. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, I was holding hands with my daughter and she wanted to skip. When I went to skip I accidentally kneed her in the face. Everyone saw her holding her busted lip and pointing at me. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Smart kid. She seems like the responsible sort.
flockz 20
scotch tape isn't safe enough. as her mother i hope you suggested duct tape.
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Comments (203)
How_you_doin 10
*slaps forehead* congratulations on raising an idiot. My condolences as you are well and truly ******!
Sakaea 22
This made me laugh. Kids are hysterical, but sounds like it's time for a girl talk!
onorexveritas 24
that's so cute xD be grateful , hopefully she keeps that attitude when she's older haha
worldclassrager 41
Better safe than sorry..,for more ways in one...what a stroke of genius...
xxxbooxxx 16
Well, at least it'll be a good story to tell her kids!
ladywinterrose 8
At least she's using some sort of protection. You never know what sort of diseases this boy has. XD
frecklefacee 6
Good for her!
Emily062611 6
It seems to me that if you think half the people on here are odd, perhaps you were the odd one. Or maybe neither group is odd.
kiswani_anas 4
She is a fast maturer
7yzzFML 17
Obviously I never said half the people on here are odd, just a select few with crappy opinions stemming from religious brainwash. And it seems that people are thumbing down the people who I didnt agree with, while people who had similar opinions to me are getting thumbed up, which would make this comment you just wrote invalid and wrong.... oh well, next time maybe :)