Today, my dad watched his first Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, and thought it'd be funny to hide in my closet, just to jump out at me screaming, "My precious!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML
Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML
Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML
Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
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Top comments
Cristoforo 17
You have a fun dad
Stormdriven37 6
Awww, you're his precious! That means he's willing to fall into an active volcano for you.
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Comments (74)
supercowguy 5
And when you're going out the door to school he stops you while saying: "You shall not pass!"
JacobH34 10
And then OP would use a fire-whip to drag Dad off a cliff right? XD
ironichalibut 24
And then they'd fight into the depths of the earth, until the dad defeats the son and undergoes infinite lifetimes of repose to emerge later in the saga with otherworldly wisdom and powers?
JacobH34 10
Seems valid haha. Only on Mondays though, 27.
ironichalibut 24
Daughter* I didn't read the gender watermark before posting, I'll save the trolls the trouble of correcting me, you guys can go back under the bridge, or back to the ocean, depending on what kind of troller you are..
skitsmuffin 6
OuMy homeschooled friend practiced his gollum impression more than he did his school work. Needless to say he was very good. And that soldier on youtube.
XxXCrissyXxX 12
I'm sorry, but that is hilarious! Sounds like a fun dad :D
3rdbass 9
This isn't an FML, Debbie Downer.
twilightriforce 10
For it is not this day that one does not simply allow my precious to take the hobbits to Isengard where they shall not pass with my sword, my bow and my axe into the fires of Mt. Doom to destroy the One Ring because in the darkness binds them.
Faff 20
I feel like you just randomly wrote down the few words you could remember from LotR
KingCeltic77 18
I wish I had your dad. He sounds precious.
zenrael 21
Sounds like a cool Dad to me, so explain how those jokes are just out dated and aren't "very nice!" Anymore...
3rdbass 9
This isn't an FML, Debbie Downer.
JennaNGood 21
I would love for your dad to be my dad. Be thankful he actually enjoys the movies - it's better then your parents constantly teasing you when you're going to watch LOTR.. Every night... Lol
theworldismad 10
sounds like a precious family bonding moment