Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we were inside, my mom yelled to me, "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank. When I rushed in, I felt something fall down my leg. It was a pair of my mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside my jeans. I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice. They did. FML
Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML
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Top comments
Fuaaad1994 31
He won't be laughing when he sees blood all over the floor
DocBastard 40
I've heard some good excuses for snooping around the house looking for Christmas presents, but this one is by far the best. I like how you had your pants down just to complete the ruse. Very clever, ma'am. Very clever.
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Comments (90)
Fuaaad1994 31
He won't be laughing when he sees blood all over the floor
friedpwnadge 25
Doing that to someone is not funny, period.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
well she could have a really have flow we don't know
cactusdesu 15
Everybody seems to be making a big deal about her parents hiding presents in the bathroom, but isn't odd for OP to keep her feminine products in her parents' bathroom?
MisterEx 28
#62 OP was out of pads in her bathroom. OP rushed to parents bathroom to get one, yes?
sarahbevan20 11
No, but if youre like me and you have a heavy flow it will start to drip. If you stand idle for too long, you will begin to form a puddle. So your argument is invalid.
Mauskau 36
#62, my parents keep some in all bathrooms in the house, especially for guests as we don't want people to be caught out or stuck. My sister and I are on the POP so we don't need them.
JustinKirby 20
OP's ovaryacting I mean it couldn't have been that bad
KingreX32 21
God I pictured that in my head. now I can't unsee it.
cadillacgal79 32
95, some of us girls start out with a really heavy flow. So don't tell someone they're overreacting you don't know how their body works
rg350dx 29
What happened to the traditional attic or under the bed hiding spots? How did you know what I really wanted was feces particles floating around onto the presents?! Merry Stinkmas
Llama_Face89 34
Somehow I think shit is denser than air... Now bacteria would be a plausible concern.
rg350dx 29
Every time you flush the toilet it releases an aerosol spray of poop water droplets around your bathroom. The more you know.
Lichinamo 33
39, that just reinforced my already prominent fear of shit particles flying in my bathroom.
MisterEx 28
#39 not if you close the toilet lid before you flush. Yes?
domolovesyoshi 33
so you think they don't close the lid when flushing?
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
39- But if the presents were under the sink, I'm assuming in a closed cabinate, then the shit particles wouldn't reach the presents.
HKCgrimmjow 15
I'm sorry guys but this conversation is probably the best I've seen on FML so far... And I've been on here a while! :) merry Christmas and thanks for making my night!!
Megan_Ashley 9
#2 did you actually say merry stinkmas?
xSonic 9
FML for him too. Lol.
sarahperez_fml 12
But he was laughing...
sarahperez_fml 12
Explain to me why there was presents in the bathroom
Edumcg 24
They decided to hide them there? I think it's pretty obvious.
sarahperez_fml 12
I feel like an Idiot now
davidislost 11
JUST figured this out! She says 'their' bathroom, meaning the parents' en suite ..next to their room, like an extended private storage place. I put way too much thought into this.
Ki11erC 18
49 - Tad slow are we?
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
20- But why in the bathroom? They could hide them in a closet, under the bed, in the attic. I just think the bathroom is an odd place to hide them.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Just tell him you added an extra decoration to said presents
BrockALee 14
^ Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Give the man TO the fish and feed your fish for like, a month. ;D
kinky44 28
Cyanide and Happiness ftw
StompinOnCrayons 15
What about fish ? Are you aware that my comment is nothing to do with feeding a man with fish ? xD
BrockALee 14
There was a person below you that said something about teaching a man how to fish :D It got deleted, apparently. And yes, it's Cyanide and Happiness, I forgot where it was from so I didn't say xD I love those comics though.
Paradoxxxx 16
I'm surprised he laughed at that. I'd dart outta the room as fast as possible instead haha
DocBastard 40
I've heard some good excuses for snooping around the house looking for Christmas presents, but this one is by far the best. I like how you had your pants down just to complete the ruse. Very clever, ma'am. Very clever.
rg350dx 29
Easy there, Private proverb.
DocBastard 40
Proverb? I'm sorry, but what comment are you reading?
rg350dx 29
Somebody spammed a bunch of penny a day bullshits but they got removed. It was a Christmas miracle.
DarkPandaXD 15
Why didn't you lock the door?
NeatNit 33
agreed. as a rule of thumb, never EVER drop your pants down (and for girls, take your bra off) without first making sure you are in a LOCKED ROOM. If you don't want anyone to come in, just don't make it possible.
israelnotjacob 20
Well to be fair there are some bathrooms that don't have locks so that may not have been an option, but yes that is common sense otherwise.
flea_of_death 23
I've never felt the need to lock a household bathroom door because, I don't know, most people have the sense to not barge in? .___.
hunts19ketchup 23
#29, I've never seen a bathroom without a lock before. Just seems like a disaster waiting to happen to me...
Ki11erC 18
42 - you're a bit weird then. It's not barging in, its using a door. If it's locked or had the engaged sign then ok, otherwise it's just wasting time knocking/shouting. If you're stupid enough not to lock so it makes life easier for people then you deserve it lol
Lichinamo 33
Maybe the dad had a key? My house has the same lock on every door that has one and we have a spare key just in case we need to get into a locked room. I'm not sure if other houses have that, but it's a possibility.
RawrImaDragon 18
53: I've been in plenty bathrooms without locks and I try to get done as fast as possible for fear of said disasters..
yerawizardlizzy 27
42 isn't weird at all. If a bathroom door is shut and light is coming from under the door, it's occupied. If the door is open, it's free. We've never had a problem at my house.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
42- In my house it is a necessity to lock the door. My father will turn the knob or bang on the door really hard while he walks by. If you don't like the door, he's liable to open it.
olpally 33
Why the **** are the presents in the bathroom?? That's just weird.
khaoticpanda 28
His fault for occupying the bathroom with gifts. Y'know, where people do there business.