Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
Weed and cat shit smell nothing alike.
emilyy5924 0
#60 You smoke weed, you don't use a needle..
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Comments (252)
asereth 4
dumbass burnout. You are licky you arent my kid, I would have sent your ass to juvenille hall.
howsthisforaname 34
I would like to make a point here. Marijuana doesn't do that to you. Either you smoked some very strong skunk or you were sold some fake weed which is made by dusting any random dried leafs with PCP. Skunk will mess you up, PCP will mess you up, marijuana can be used casually but it will make you do thinks such as lie on the sofa for four hours watching reality TV and thinking it's awesome.
X_red 10
You're a dimbass why would you light a joint in your house
niallsboo3 14
You should know that drugs are bad. And why would you do that in your parents house
HoodieUndead 8
You don't get high your first time nice try fake stoner.
PVXCRunner15 12
You're an idiot, for doing drugs and for not cleaning up afterwards
dogestuffup 11
drugs, huh? YDI.
tragik313 3
so I'm on random and a few years late but maybe someone will read this. how did he he find the joint after you smoked it. if I had a joint like that I would be a very happy stoner. and **** all yall. weed is great. it's better and better for you than drinking.