Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, my mom told me she was getting tired of the smell of marijuana in the house. So I confessed and told her I'll never bring it home again. She was talking about my neighbors. FML
Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML
Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML
Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
freya1998 23
Soft kitty, high kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty, hazy kitty Purr, purr, purr
TheNewGuy03 29
Now I'm thinking of a kitty that's absolutely blazed out of its mind.
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Comments (65)
jadalaheart 23
This isn't a FML so much as a F the cats life or F the sisters life.
unholyswiss 19
**** your life for having to deal with that level of idiocy almost daily, OP.
more4me 27
Idiocy ? maybe the Mom is sick and tired of having to defend herself in her own home so she said the first thing that came through her head? Sure, I stinks and it's unpleasant but if it's the worst thing that's happened to OP, I mean honestly that's not a big deal ! Just ask her to go outside or crack open a window! Not the end of the world!
Mahcookiez 15
Or she might just wanna get high af
Schmavid64 13
#19 the reason it is idiotic is for doing it in your child's bedroom. Besides it is illegal.
fuckedPriceless 17
#28 The law isn't always right.
DexBanWhore 6
#28 could have been for medical purposes, like the daughter dosent ******* smoke, and it's her own damn house she'll smoke where she wants.
brezzyanna 17
I absolutely hate parents that think like you. It's her daughters house too, why would you smoke In her room when you have the rest of the house?
TheNewGuy03 29
Now I'm thinking of a kitty that's absolutely blazed out of its mind.
sturschaedel 27
That's easy: YouTube cats on catnip.
Delta_0DST 12
"Best mental image of the week" award goes to . . .
Zebediabolical 45
I sell catnip packaged to look like weed at a local farmers market sometimes. It's labelled as 'Pussy Pot' or 'Kitty Kush'. Sometimes rolled into fake joints with rice paper so the cat can just tear it up and get into it. :D
ohSNAPyall 27
Kitty's name is Steve French.
Queensland 27
She could've just gone outside
more4me 27
Yeah that'd be good if it weren't the middle of the winter! Probably cold right now in Nebraska!
Krictix 14
I blaze outside no matter what the temperature
freya1998 23
Soft kitty, high kitty Little ball of fur Happy kitty, hazy kitty Purr, purr, purr
moodyreallyrocks 27
Sad but true!!
gracehi 33
Would have made more sense if you had a pet skunk.
LyricaSilvan 30
Well. That's a mature reaction.
FemskyD 26
Well you never know! ;)
lalundsten 16
At least it she didn't use your room?