Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house when I got a call from my parents. They told me to come home immediately. Panicking, I rushed home. My dad pulled out a clear tube filled with dried leaves. They accused me of having marijuana. It was catnip for my kitten. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I realised I've become the background stoner character of any college movie, as I sat alone on my dorm's bed, wearing flannel over a Pac-Man shirt, and smoking weed out of a skull-shaped bong. Sorry, mom. FML
Today, I got suspended from school for smoking in the stairs. I'm grounded for a month without my phone, TV or any type of social connection. All of this would seem like a fair enough punishment if I actually smoked, but instead I just smell like my parent's second-hand smoke. FML
Today, I came home to my parents holding my marijuana. They told me that I had the stupidest hiding place ever, and that I was, "not only a pothead, but a dumbfuck pothead." FML
Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML
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Top comments
ByronJess 17
Weed and cat shit smell nothing alike.
emilyy5924 0
#60 You smoke weed, you don't use a needle..
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Comments (252)
1996shse 7
shoulda been smarter about it though...
BurningGrannies 16
YDI for smoking a joint in the house where your parents live, you should've gone outside
christinuuh 3
Thanks for reminding me I'm out of weed -.- sucks for you though(;
KhaozD 3
dont listen to them idiots. its not a drug *mackey* mmkay.
bellatrix0805 2
The truth is always better than lying. You get in less trouble for telling the truth than you will lying
Denny1 15
Wow really, an alley cat left an upper decker in the toilet. Thumbs up if you think he or she should never smoke weed again
mphottinger 2
I'm still laughing and wishing my cat had the ability to leave an upper decker in my toilet lol if she could train her three kittens to do it, I could see profit.
Euronymous93 29
That is hilarious, OP! But you did deserve it. Drugs are not something you want to mess with.
shadwolf99 2
You deserve it for being a pothead
zachistooawesome 5
Hey! All the assholes who said he deserved it. Weed is not a bad drug! Now, if he was smoking crack, that would be bad