Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, my husband was changing our son’s overflowing diaper. Instead of getting up and walking the putrid mess to the bin, he decided to shoot it basketball-style. He missed and it hit the wall, sliding down leaving a huge sloppy streak. He expected me to clean it. FML
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, one of the customers at work shat all down the side of the toilet and on the floor. They didn’t even try to make it in the bowl. Guess who had to clean it up. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML
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Top comments
huggles87 0
Wow that is sick, least he cleaned up most of the mess
IronWarrior 9
I just checked my stats and discovered that the average urinations per day is inaccurate. Males average 7 urinations per day and females average 8. This adjusts the result significantly. Up = 7*5 = 35 times, Down = 8*2+1*7 = 23 times. The more correct ratio is 35:23. This means that the seat will be up over 1.52 times for every time the seat is down, much more than the 1.25 I had previously indicated. As we can all see, this further confirms that in my house, the seat should remain up.
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Comments (79)
jjcooper 0
gross
macyinwonderland 3
I partially agree with the guys......We just want them to put the seat down so that we don't accidently sit on it. Look before you sit! Haha
nevergo 10
ummm look before you sit.
MileyCyrusIsHot 5
THE SINK?!!!
saltypirate 0
The water?!
SWeatHeart11_fml 7
he's sick..he's not gonna be able to do much..at least he tried and didnt just leave it for you to do all by yourself. You got a considerate man. be thankful.
Shazam25 7
Should've looked before you plopped your ass down on the seat.
kelsey9696 8
Wouldn't you have seen the puke on the seat, especially after putting the seat down?
herpderp1234 17
Nasty. But he still cleaned most of it (•_•)/
Cameron Sylvester 11
Look before you sit dipshit.