Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML
Today, I was driving home from work when I saw a cop come up behind me. Nervous about my expired license, I kept checking in my rear view mirror. In turn since I wasn't paying attention, I ran a stop sign. Needless to say the cop pulled me over and gave me 2 tickets. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said, "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
beccaishereyay 11
Ugh. I'd give you a ticket too.
Dargoria 1
Sometimes you just got to force it down. Sorry about the ticket.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (107)
doodlecloud 27
Haha, good on you. You can't take it back now so you may as well be proud. Hope the ticket wasn't too big. But if one of your excuses was actually legitimate then maybe you should complain? I know you can't threaten police officers or start to get out of hand but I'm pretty sure they can't hand out tickets just for grammar correction.
alycion 39
Actually, I'd they had cause to write the ticket, they can give it for any reason they feel like. When I get stopped I usually joke around with the officer. It's gotten me out of quite a few tickets. They are just doing their job in stopping us. I find the more pleasant you are, the more likely it will just be a warning. And when I first started driving I had a lead foot, so I was stopped quite a bit. Fortunately, I grew a brain about speeding with age.
honestjane 22
To everyone that wants to call the police station to complain when they get a ticket...this is what court is for. Show up for your court date and dispute the ticket. If you were guilty of the ticketed offense, pay your fine or make arrangements before your court date. Don't skip your court date and get a bench warrant issued for your arrest from the judge for failure to appear at court. You're welcome.
SinghIt 1
Karma :)
EffingBollocks 11
OP is right. There is NO excuse for bad grammar.
agonydrum 7
Correcting someone's grammar is rude and makes you look like an arrogant chode
cooldaddio 14
This particular example wasn't the right time or place for such a thing, but knowledge is meant to be shared. If you'd rather be ignorant than endure a little bit of embarrassment then that says a lot about you.
kglo 7
And your inner Grammar Nazi had nothing to say about you saying the fuzz, a term better placed of the original Hawaii Five-O shows?
themarshal_fml 6
I take it that you haven't seen Hot Fuzz.
Ugi 27
I hate that too, but sometimes you just have to bite your tongue!
CoryX 9
Cmon man, never give the cops any excuse to bust you. They sure don't need any
Eil 5
And this he proved, he could indeed care less
LennyComa 39
That'll learn ya
jwbfml 11
The fuzz huh?
FireFlie07 20
You cannot diss a cop. They put up with too much crap to be patient with Dum dums.