Baited
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML
Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for "impeding a police officer." My car was in my driveway. FML
Today, I was driving when I noticed that the guy in front was on the phone. I pulled up next to him, pulled out my phone and I made a gesture that he needed to put his phone away. It was a cop. I got a ticket for driving while on my cell phone. FML
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
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Top comments
therealbmw 2
u should have ran him over then complained for damaging your car
Intoxicunt 6
Your phrasing made me picture the way the cops in GTA sometimes jump toward cars instead of away from them.
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Comments (191)
xelao 0
lololol
JacksonCampbell 9
shoulda just run him over
rushiee 0
you shoulda had doughnuts... he woulda let u go. or u coulda been like "hell no bitch u made me obsecure trafic" or such (: haha
the_flirtt 0
haha donuts
shortstuff9519 0
shouldve run him over then he can't give u a ticket
rushiee 0
*donuts *obstruct *traffic ughh 3 spelling mistakes im ashamed blin.. tear! haha (: dont hate im only human :D
FFML_314 12
*obscure
ispitflames 3
who's chillin around the land?
rushiee 0
sorry ): i thought about those but since im in a tired state of mind i totally just chose the easier lazy way out. grammar nazis will never let that one go....
FFML_314 12
*Grammar Nazis! Where?
rushiee 0
yes blin as in блин. as in russian word (: like damn haha f.y.a.f.p.
ispitflames 3
slushie rushie!
rushiee 0
I apologize. Good?
metal8214 0
long conversation :)
rushiee 0
32- i swear i recognize you i just haven't been on in the longest time but besides that, hiii!!! :D
ohthebloodygore 16
36, capitalisation counts.
Chrisskiies 0
Precious, no it doesn't.
rushiee 0
I hate living in America for this very reason, every little detail is scrutinized, like your clothes in russia. I dont pay attention to capitalization because it's automatic on my itouch but for some odd reason it turns off on FML and it gets so frustrating. ):
arieelxx 0
you're all idiots. get lives. who cares if they don't use the correct spellng & capitalization.
Chrisskiies 0
Rushiie, no not really. Just when people don't annunciate or pronounce words right all the time, it irritates me, idk about the rest of the Americans. lol otherwise I don't really pay attention to grammar
ohthebloodygore 16
40, how dare you insult me. American. Pfft!
Chrisskiies 0
Fail precious -.- she's Russian. lol
rushiee 0
thanks you two (: im not calling you american i know youre spanish im just saying since we type in the same language people judge your personality and maturity or whatnot from the way you type. i usually type well but on that post i made more than a few errors & tried to correct mistake. therefore not calling you american im just using generalization. thats all (:
ohthebloodygore 16
Chris, you fail. I wasn't insinuating that was American. She said that's why she didn't like living in America in other words insinuating I was. I was just saying I wasn't. :P
ohthebloodygore 16
46, I'm not judging you.
Chrisskiies 0
no precious just no. you fail against me always. psh
rushiee 0
49. im sure someone will so im just saying for future reference (:
ohthebloodygore 16
Chris, no. You fail even she understood. ¿Por qué no estás dormido? :P
Chrisskiies 0
No precious, she saw your other comment. y early tomando :) lol jugando Bp en casa con familia y amigos. haha XD
ohthebloodygore 16
jugando que? podemos hablar un idioma diferente?
rushiee 0
Yo hablo Russian y Belarussian, (no sey fluently en espaniol pardon me.) (: idk if i answered right but hey i tried to get in on the espaiol since im in spanish three & remember only things like pollo frito haha (:
ispitflames 3
36 - yeah from along time ago:)! havent talked in foeverrrr. im never really on this anymore etherr
Chrisskiies 0
Preciosa, early jugando beer pong. lol gane, y no se si puedemos. haha good job Rushiie. ah shuffling and beer :) btw op shoulda ran that piggy over lol
rushiee 0
57- ahhh goodtimes though haha (: da? why not? busy with school/chicks/work/other? lol it was being a bitch so i deleted my app & like half the regulars are gone. im like "ay sad day! "haha
rushiee 0
thank you chris (: f. y. a. f. p.!!!!
FunnyWeasel 7
he was probably trying to commit suicide and gave you a ticket in frustration
ispitflames 3
yeahhh school and what nottt. fuckkk i know, my fml app always crashes randomly. regulars...hhaha yeaaa what happened to themmm. all thats left are bitches and grammar nazis hahaha
FFML_314 12
Well, you're not a Grammar Nazi. So, I guess that leaves bitch. Sounds about right.
Chrisskiies 0
lol rofl Lmfao lmfaorofl hahahahhaha regulars turned into grammar Nazis lol or just don't have time lol oh shuffle time
ispitflames 3
yo yay
rushiee 0
the app didint work for like 2 weeks so im like **** this shit & yeah haha i think they just got better things to do now.. oh & theres the trolls (: but they dont really say much so they dont count haha awe ease up anna, he didnt mean it literally :p
FFML_314 12
Why, I don't know what you're talking about.
ispitflames 3
did you update it again? you can finally upload pics or whateverrr i think. yepp haha trolllss. and yes i did mean it, that chicks a bitch. haha jkijgnnfenifnef
rushiee 0
then my last sentence is irrelevent. well im going to bed gnight americans & mexicanos (:
FFML_314 12
That chicken is actually a female dog? Now that is one hell of a costume.
rushiee 0
it updated then i uploaded it again im like yes!!!!! but it still wont let you edit your profile on the app. which is gay. just saying :p
ispitflames 3
is that a baby nigglet in your icon?jw i dont feel like clicking on it
ispitflames 3
whatttttt. doesnt let you edit it? gayyyy. and okay goodnight rushieee slushieeee!
ifyouseekamy666 0
lol 80 ur hottt ;p
FFML_314 12
I can only imagine how good it makes you feel, to call a woman a bitch. Just because I don't like you, doesn't mean I'm actually a bitch. You're just one of the people that can't handle being corrected or told that you're wrong. I'm not a bitch and honestly, it's incredibly disrespectful to call a woman that. Your parents must have taught you well.
Dragons_corner 6
41 it's called proper English and/or being intelligence. You should care since how you speak and and write tells alot about how smart you are. yes saying things like "hey how r u doing" is fun and short buy if that's all you do then can you even spell. I do both but I like to do proper english as much as possible since I have trouble with it. I can spell only 1/3 the words I know with out looking it up. I know alot of intelligent words I confused some teacher when talking to them but when writing oh hell they never knew how. I guess it's like parlor trick lol. yes I know I missed some caps and punctuations.
Intoxicunt 6
"being intelligence" :D
KarinaLizeth18 5
Oh man 96, you failed big time. >.<
MmissyT 8
41. yeaa i noohh y r pplzz suchh grammr nazis orr whtevrr...itt gets anoyyin...
FFML_314 12
You talking like that, is far more annoying than any Grammar Nazi. What is your reason for typing in that way?
KingDingALing 9
Hahahahaha 103...I had to read over that a few times before i could understand that. Worst. Spelling. EVER.
MC_Telepathy 0
fakee n gayyy
arieelxx 0
46: Get. a. *******. life. wheeeu. I'm on something called an iPod it auto corrects & has a small keyboard so obviously I'm not going to waste my time making sure I spell everything right & use the proper capitalization or punctuation. I have a life and therefor don't have the time for it. 106: That was the biggest fail possible, congradulations! &nd as for spelling showing how smart you are that isn't always the case. I know someone that graduated high school with an average of 97 and they spelt like a 5 year old. but obviously they weren't an idiot. so next time I suggest you get your facts straight.
Dmayhem84 0
what a Cocksucker I'd report his ass and get out of it
arieelxx 0
47* cute typo on my part
Dragons_corner 6
101 will you help me then like private studies lol 135 I know I failed but did you too? I basically put I can't spell and I graduated. I got a cousin that graduated and he's below average. my facts are straight. the spelling I might added more but it mostly implies to the Internet. I'm shure I'm not the only one that hate to decode what people write. I work with a girl how she text is how she writes, it's not pretty. I have no problems with people missing caps, punctuations, miss spelling words, or writing weird. I do have problems when people don't like when they use proper English or write properly.
FFML_314 12
You know, 148. I actually feel like you truly meant what you said. And for that, you're sick. Oh no! The cop made a poor judgement call. Yeah, are you perfect? We all make mistakes. /Especially/ when it comes to our jobs. For you to wish death upon another person in such a cold hearted way is dispicable human behavior. Sure, there are bad cops out there, but you know what? They give a tremendous amount of help. What were to happen if you were being raped or someone you loved was being attacked? Who do you call? The 'asshole' cops. Oh, so they're good enough when you need them? I really /hate/ naive and ignorant people.
FFML_314 12
Like I said, when there comes a time for you to need them, you'll make the call. You are a bit too much for me. You should stick your head back in the sand.
FreePali 0
Woooooow... The Grammar Nazis are really going to town here. It's okay rushie, not all of us "Americans" have these humongous sticks up our asses. But then again, I'm a hyphenated American (a minority) and so I tend to be a bit more accepting of others--understanding that, not everyone grows up speaking English and no one is perfect. At least rushie is making an effort. How many languages do u Grammar Nazi ***** speak? Also, are you as proficient in the English language as you pretend to be. I'm sure you make several grammatical errors a day--they just aren't shoved in your face. This isn't a formal forum, and these comments aren't being submitted for grades and/or criticism. Get off your high horses and grow the **** up.
arieelxx 0
156 I real love you. people need to rake the sticks out of their asses and realize people aren't on fml to practice their grammer.
arieelxx 0
take* not rake! freaking iPod.
Zebidee 9
Must. Resist. Correcting. #166... ;)
FreePali 0
Why thank you,166. *takes a bow*
Zarggg 0
Maybe you should, because proper grammar is a sign of intelligence.
FreePali 0
Sorry, wrong again. Proper grammar has nothing to do with actually intelligence--just the degree of schooling one has had. Also, people should consider the fact that not everyone is afforded the same opportunities in life. By the way, you elitist snob, the grammatical rules you deem proper were once considered to be slang. Language rules change over time. It is inevitable. I don't see us walking around speaking Shakespearian English--which was the slang of that era.
FreePali 0
actual intelligence* I had to correct that before the Grammar Nazis pounced--you see, the are unreasonable people and don't take technological errors (such as the iPhone auto correct feature) into account.
arieelxx 0
lol thanks 169 for resisting that. and 174/175 is absolutley correct. :) I'm actually really smart but all you grammer nazi's wouldn't know that because all you judgemental morons that think it makes you look smart by judging people's intellegence based on their grammer. I'm just lazy and don't feel like spending all my free time checking all my spelling and punctuation. I have a little thing called a life and it doesn't involve practicing spelling for fun.
browntiga 0
dude no one cares man. stop fixing people's spelling....
SonOfAMitch 14
You people above me DO realize that an FML about someone getting a ticket for obstructing traffic turned into a major brawl about spelling? Odd.
Star928 7
1- How about i hit you with my car then say lolol
metal8214 0
lol that sucks bad.... woo I'm first I think
Arsonnist 3
I think not.
the_flirtt 0
now that is what i call bad luck.
ash14 0
aw I'm sorry :'(
Arsonnist 3
Well I wouldn't be that dramatic about it. More like bad timing.
HaxivX 0
no he's just a noobb WHAT'S WRONG EITH MY ITPUCH??? AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Silentstrike 11
I don't know but what is wrong with your spelling!!!
therealbmw 2
u should have ran him over then complained for damaging your car
Intoxicunt 6
Your phrasing made me picture the way the cops in GTA sometimes jump toward cars instead of away from them.
metal8214 0
hahaha I love that. you don't even have to chase them down
MC_Telepathy 0
or someone can hit you with their car right in front of a cop but if you hit a civilian you get a star
ifyouseekamy666 0
4 ur hair is really red and fake looking.. ppl shouldn't try to dye their hair red it always looks stupid....
Intoxicunt 6
Excuse me!? Don't even attempt to tell me what I "should" do. That doesn't even make any sense. Why SHOULDN'T I? Oh, because YOU, some insignificant piece of human excrement that doesn't even have the balls to put a pic of themselves up but is fine with critiquing others', don't like it? HA! I like bright ass hair. My hair was purple once and blue before it. I think it looks good, and I could not possibly care less if I tried what stupid ******* people I've never met prefer. KTHXBAI
FFML_314 12
I think the giant question mark suits her well. It symbolizes her genuine /confusion/ in life. When everything is a question for her, it's obvious that she's a complete moron. Why am I peeing? Why is your hair red? Why do my socks not match? Where is are my undies? Why doesn't anyone like me? She can't even spell simple words. It's tragic and unbearably painful to accept. Who are you to criticize another person for their hair color? Ridiculing someone about their picture is bad enough, but their hair? That is /almost/ as bad as the one girl that ridiculed me about the shape of my eyebrows. Red hair is sexy and it in no way looks fake. It's quite apparent that her hair is real. You honestly have no clue what you're walking into. Put up a picture, then come back. We will have a chat. Until then, get over it.
MmissyT 8
aww 98 urr pikk is adorable :D
MC_Telepathy 0
thanks for the novel 98
FFML_314 12
No problem.
EmperorChowilio 21
drink some water you're a little salty
FFML_314 12
LOL, why did he /jump/ ?
ohthebloodygore 16
I don't /know/ ?
iBeast7 1
I think you get promoted if you give out a lot of tickets. maybe he did it on purpose
MrPhucked 0
Lmao!! Sue him for abusing his authority
musicrox1818 0
that's pretty stupid
Arsonnist 3
Buy him a nice box of doughnuts as a peace offering.
mightymart 5
NeXT time you Know what to do...
takeapieandrun 9
Appeal in traffic court.